30/01/2026
HOLY SMOKE:
Nyeri Church Service Upgraded to "Tear Gas Tabernacle By Impunity Daily Divine & Riot Desk. January 26, 2026 OTHAYA, NYERI — Congregants at St. Peter's ACK Church in Witima recently experienced a "visitation" that was less about the Holy Spirit and more about the National Police Service’s favorite perfume: Eau de Tear Gas. In what can only be described as a high-octane Sunday service, unidentified "evangelists" decided to spice up the liturgy by lobbing canisters into the pews....
HOLY SMOKE:
Nyeri Church Service Upgraded to “Tear Gas Tabernacle By Impunity Daily Divine & Riot Desk. January 26, 2026 OTHAYA, NYERI — Congregants at St. Peter’s ACK Church in Witima recently…
25/01/2026
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25/01/2026
FROM “MY LAST 4 BOB” TO “FULL HOUSE”:
The Resurrection of Tule Kienyeji By Impunity Daily Heartstrings & Hustle Desk January 23, 2026 NAKURU — If you ever needed proof that Kenyans have a "savior complex" the size of Lake Nakuru, look no further than the case of Harriet Akinyi. Last Monday, Harriet was at a point where her bank balance looked like a phone battery at 1%—Ksh. 33 in the bank and a lonely Ksh....
FROM “MY LAST 4 BOB” TO “FULL HOUSE”:
The Resurrection of Tule Kienyeji By Impunity Daily Heartstrings & Hustle Desk January 23, 2026 NAKURU — If you ever needed proof that Kenyans have a “savior complex” the size of La…
23/01/2026
SIPPING IN SHORT TROUSERS:
Why the Kenyan "Drinkie" is Getting Younger and Classier By Impunity Daily Societal "Research" Desk January 22, 2026 NAIROBI — If you’ve noticed that the person ordering a double whiskey at the local pub looks like they should still be doing high school biology homework, you’re not hallucinating. According to recent data, the Kenyan drinker is officially "de-aging." NACADA has dropped a bombshell report revealing that while your Uncle Juma is still at the counter, he’s being joined by a swarm of 20-somethings—and even some 15-year-olds who are apparently swapping their juice boxes for something with a bit more "character."...
SIPPING IN SHORT TROUSERS:
Why the Kenyan “Drinkie” is Getting Younger and Classier By Impunity Daily Societal “Research” Desk January 22, 2026 NAIROBI — If you’ve noticed that the person ordering a d…
23/01/2026
EXCLUSIVE REPORT: CITIZEN SURVIVES BRUTAL UPHILL ASSAULT BY GEOGRAPHICAL FEATURE
IMPUNITY DAILY My First Hike: Or, How Mt. Longonot Tried to Gently Murder Me??Published: When my legs finally stopped screaming (Nov 08, 2025) An investigative journey into the great outdoors, where the ground fights back. By our Rogue Correspondent on the Ground (Literally, at one point) SURVIVAL OF THE UNFIT: Local Woman Mistakes Mt. Longonot for a Stroll to the Stage…...
EXCLUSIVE REPORT: CITIZEN SURVIVES BRUTAL UPHILL ASSAULT BY GEOGRAPHICAL FEATURE
IMPUNITY DAILY My First Hike: Or, How Mt. Longonot Tried to Gently Murder Me??Published: When my legs finally stopped screaming (Nov 08, 2025) An investigative journey into the great outdoors, wher…
19/01/2026
SIAYA’S NEWEST WATERFALL: Driver Swerves, Accidentally Launches Pop-Up Bar in Uuna
BREAKING: Siaya County Experiences Sudden, Devastating National Beverage Shortage By the Tragedy & Hilarity Desk, Impunity Daily SIAYA’S NEWEST WATERFALL: Driver Swerves, Accidentally Launches Pop-Up Bar in Uuna By Impunity Daily News Desk January 19, 2026 ALEGO, SIAYA — Residents of Uuna area were treated to a surprise "Happy Hour" this Sunday, though the bartender was nowhere to be found....
SIAYA’S NEWEST WATERFALL: Driver Swerves, Accidentally Launches Pop-Up Bar in Uuna
BREAKING: Siaya County Experiences Sudden, Devastating National Beverage Shortage By the Tragedy & Hilarity Desk, Impunity Daily SIAYA’S NEWEST WATERFALL: Driver Swerves, Accidentally Launches …
19/01/2026
“Disciplined Forces Showcase Superior Conflict Resolution Skills in Umoja”
mpunity Daily Exclusive: From Our Desk of Civic AdmirationIMPD Editor-in-Chief Military Man Practices "Extreme Diplomacy" on Unassuming Citizen Editor in Chair, Satirical CorrespondentPublished: Whenever we stop laughing… which isn’t today. Umoja residents were treated to a magnificent, unscheduled demonstration of advanced pacification techniques last month, courtesy of a highly trained national defender. In an inspiring display of proactive community engagement, Defence Forces member Nicholas Ireri Njue was observed administrating immediate, hands-on correction to Mr....
“Disciplined Forces Showcase Superior Conflict Resolution Skills in Umoja”
mpunity Daily Exclusive: From Our Desk of Civic AdmirationIMPD Editor-in-Chief Military Man Practices “Extreme Diplomacy” on Unassuming Citizen Editor in Chair, Satirical CorrespondentP…
17/01/2026
How to “Survive” a Matatu Ride: The Commuter’s Guide to Extreme Sports
Since you enjoyed the guide for Kawangware, let's look at another "highly recommended" survival strategy for the city. How to "Survive" a Matatu Ride: The Commuter's Guide to Extreme Sports The "Shortcuts": Your driver will treat the sidewalk, the ditch, and the laws of physics as mere suggestions to beat traffic. The Fare Game: The price remains a mystery until you are halfway to your destination, at which point it fluctuates based on the rain, the mood of the conductor, or the alignment of the stars....
How to “Survive” a Matatu Ride: The Commuter’s Guide to Extreme Sports
Since you enjoyed the guide for Kawangware, let’s look at another “highly recommended” survival strategy for the city. How to “Survive” a Matatu Ride: The Commuter& #82…
16/01/2026
Kilifi Duo Masters the Art of the Bad Deal, Pays Double for “Discount” Ivory
KILIFI – In a stunning display of financial incompetence that has left economists, accountants, and basic common sense weeping, two men in Kilifi have been royally schooled on the concept of "value for money." The pair, Samuel Kazungu Duka (50) and Nelson Kiringi Nzai (25), appeared in court this week facing charges for possessing a single elephant tusk. The prosecution valued their prized, illegal possession at a cool ...
Kilifi Duo Masters the Art of the Bad Deal, Pays Double for “Discount” Ivory
KILIFI – In a stunning display of financial incompetence that has left economists, accountants, and basic common sense weeping, two men in Kilifi have been royally schooled on the concept of &…
16/01/2026
How to “Fix” a Tooth in Kawangware: A Step-by-Step Guide to Disaster
The High Cost of a "Cheap" Smile: Lessons from the Kawangware Tragedy The heartbreaking death of Amos Isoka in Kawangware is a dark reminder that when it comes to health, a "bargain" can be fatal. Amos sought a simple tooth extraction but ended up in a battle for his life at Kenyatta National Hospital after a fake dentist botched the procedure....
How to “Fix” a Tooth in Kawangware: A Step-by-Step Guide to Disaster
The High Cost of a “Cheap” Smile: Lessons from the Kawangware Tragedy The heartbreaking death of Amos Isoka in Kawangware is a dark reminder that when it comes to health, a “barga…
04/01/2026
Stethoscopes vs. Seraphim: Why Nairobi’s Doctors Are Swapping Prescription Pads for Prophecies.
By The Daily Impunity Staff • Published: January 04, 2026 Stethoscopes vs. Seraphim: Why Nairobi’s Doctors are Trading Lab Coats for Linen Robes 🩺✨ In a move that has Kenya’s medical board frantically Googling “how to discipline doctors who think pathology is optional,” a group of Nairobi physicians has decided that modern medicine is just… well, too modern. Why bother with boring old science when you can just shout away HIV in Nakuru?...
Stethoscopes vs. Seraphim: Why Nairobi’s Doctors Are Swapping Prescription Pads for Prophecies.
By The Daily Impunity Staff • Published: January 04, 2026 Stethoscopes vs. Seraphim: Why Nairobi’s Doctors are Trading Lab Coats for Linen Robes 🩺✨ In a move that has Kenya’s medical board frantica…
15/04/2018
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