12/09/2024
A Chapter from My Journey ( ⛔️ a long post ahead. Only people with patience can read.)
I began my CSS preparation during a particularly challenging time in my life. Everything I did, from attempting précis to taking tests, was fraught with flaws.There were individuals who doubted my capabilities, saying, “You will never pass CSS.” Only God and my heart truly understand how deeply their words and attitudes affected me. Their negativity shattered my confidence. It took me hell of a strength to make the decision of CSS while dealing with a midlife crisis.
As self-doubt began to settle in, I failed the CSS exam in 2021. Following this failure, I noticed a marked change in people’s behavior towards me.
لوگ ناکام لوگوں سے دوری بنا کے رکھتے ہیں. ہمارا معاشرہ ناکامی کو زندگی کی ایک حقیقت سمجھنے کے بجائے ناکام ہونے والے شخص کی (identity) سمجھ لیتا ہے اور اس کے ساتھ رویہ بھی وہی رکہتا ہے۔
It took me time to understand that such behaviors were unhealthy, and unkind. In 2022, I restarted my preparation with a renewed sense of self. I approached my studies in my own way, choosing my methods for attempting answers, writing essays, and making analyses. This time, I chose to believe in myself. After my last exam, I confidently told my brother that I would pass CSS this year.
In 2023, I passed the CSS exam. People were amazed to see how a girl from a small tehsil like Tangwani succeeded in the country’s toughest exam. I became the first female from Kashmore to be allocated to the PSP.
But had I listened to the naysayers, I would never have come this far. Self-belief, resilience, consistency, and hard work will always pay off. If you are struggling with similar issues, stay strong.
آپ کا وقت بھی آئیگا جب آپ اپنی ذات اور معاشرے دونوں کے سامنے سُرخرو ہونگے۔۔۔
Till then, you should keep repeating these words of Nelson Mandela: “Your playing small does not serve the world. Who are you not to be great?”
To those who doubted me, saying, “This girl cannot pass CSS,” I wish them happiness and kindness.