Prayers of Hope for Jackie

💔Over 8 agonizing months. Thank you for this find!
Jennifer,
I wanted to let you know I am OK. I found Dad, Gram and Pop Pop. They were waiting for me, exactly like you told me they would be. (Btw-you know how much your father hates to see you upset and worry like this).
The strangest part about my passing is that I never feel gone from you. Never! How could I, when almost every waking moment was spent with you?! I’m sorry you feel so detached from me. I wish I could help you understand that I am still here.
Yes, I DO hear you talk to me and I'm trying so hard to get you to feel my presence. I see how much you cry when you’re alone, but when I finally see you laugh, it vibrates through my soul and I laugh, too. Laugh a little more. It’s ok! Feelings of guilt, anger, regret and your immense sadness can sometimes build a barrier between us. I honor how you grieve, but I would love for you to try harder to let go of those heavy layers that put the weight of the world on your shoulders. I might actually be able to come to you more easily. Please try not to feel so far away from me.
No, you couldn't have saved me! No, you couldn’t have done more! I realize now that this earthly experience is all about finding our way back to LOVE. All the rest is just part of the journey we call “Life”. I promise you, I feel your love now, just like I did before. Try harder to feel mine. There is no greater love than the love I have for you.
Don’t let your heart be heavy. Forgive in ways you never thought possible, release anger that no longer serves you (just like you told me) and ignore the things that may harden your heart. In the end, it’s not worth it. You will see!
I LIVED FOR YOU! Oh and my Sweet Muffin, Madison, too. I watched her come in to this world and I hate that she had to watch me leave her. Her gentle ways, her caring heart and her never ending presence, filled my heart with such joy. I love how she always wanted to be with me! My time with you both were the happiest and sweetest days of my life.
Please understand, I never wanted to leave you. I wish I could have stayed, so that this pain that keeps you from enjoying life to the fullest, would have never happened. Please honor my memory by finding joy and learning how to smile that beautiful again. I miss seeing that. I will be right here watching and waiting….you are NEVER alone. I promise to always be your guiding light.
I love you more!
Your Mommy xo

Heartfelt gratitude for all your love. Mom fought long and hard and death knocked at her door many times…but she continued to remain full of life and determination. She was always ever present in my world; never skipping a beat. She didn’t want many to know she had limited time. She was absolutely terrified and nothing scares the Mama Bear. The decline was fast. No suffering, and while I know I should be grateful, I’m not at that point yet. It was expected, yet unexpected. She even asked for a cheesesteak with fried onions the night before!
(NO—never eaten but “Princess” got whatever she wanted)
I felt it that morning. I was up all night with her. I saw it-Can’t explain it, but being the closest person to her, I just knew. Literally felt my heart being ripped from my chest and I knew she was slipping away. Heart “ache” is a real thing! With all that said-I will admit, I am not good. Not at all. It’s ok, to not be ok. In the days following her death and funeral, I’ve walked through the motions aimlessly; processing nothing. Everyone is gone, reality has set in, and this is my new norm. Maybe I’m still in shock. All I know is that I’m lost without her. We talked and saw one another every day…multiple times! How do you move on with this “NOTHING” that is left. I’m not sure how I ever will. My heart is shattered. My world, forever interrupted. Please say a prayer for me.
Also-I have a VERY special request that I will post soon💗

Never stopped fighting. Not for ONE SECOND💗

I appreciate those who have reached out inquiring about Mom, keeping her in your thoughts and prayers. I’ve seen or spoken to so many of you; shared her progress with joy and setbacks with sorrow. You’ve laughed with me, cried with me and always found ways to help me see the positive in every situation. I cannot thank you enough! My apologies for the lack of recent updates...just trying to breathe and catch up on life, give Mom some breathing room of her own and focus on our next course. She completed her chemo and radiation therapy, continues her immunotherapy infusions and even took the bull by the horns when Covid decided to show its nasty face. Now, as I sit in another waiting room, agonized by the torture of time, I can’t help but wonder “What more does a person have to endure to prove they are a warrior?” We are up for another fight, fair or not...we are prepared🤍At 5:15 this morning, we arrived at the next road on the detour of our journey. Did you ever doubt for one second that she wouldn’t continue to keep me on my toes?! Once again, I am asking for your prayers and positive vibes for strength and healing. As always, I remain grateful💗

DING DING DING...few setbacks to get here, but we are at ROUND FOUR. 3 days of chemo lie ahead for the Mama Bear and we are, once again, asking for your prayers and positive vibes💗Thank you for your continued love and support.

DING DING DING...Round three!! 3 days of chemo lie ahead for the Mama Bear and we are, once again, asking for your prayers and positive vibes💗Thank you for your continued love and support.
I remain grateful xo💗

DING DING DING...Round two of Chemo. Three days of treatment lie ahead for Mom and we are strolling(rolling♿️) in with positive energy and asking for your prayers and positive vibes, once again💗🤍Happy to report that she has not needed oxygen for two weeks and the amount of fluid draining from her lungs decreases each time, to almost nothing. Certainly all positive things to lift us up. Thank you for your continued your support.
I remain grateful xo

From the time Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2011, I turned to social media as an easy way to reach everyone, asking for prayers and updating her journey. We knew back then, she had a tough road ahead of her; initially starting chemotherapy, followed by two surgeries and then radiation. Treatments were tolerated pretty well, with minimal side effects, and we considered ourselves extremely fortunate. She has been on various treatments and medications over the years to combat the spread of this cancer, trying keep it dormant.
Unfortunately, Mom was recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of lung cancer. She’s had a few complications, set backs and hospital stays these past few weeks, but her oncologist has taken a very assertive approach and she already had her PICC line inserted and completed her first 3 day round of chemotherapy in the hospital. So far, this has been tolerated well. Very encouraging!🌸A temporary drain was placed in her lung to provide daily relief of fluid build up (🙋🏻‍♀️I got that😌) and she came home with me Monday, so she can rest completely. It’s been mentally and physically draining, but you all know how much of a fighter she is! We’re doing everything we can to keep her happy and comfy here. With all that said, our “new” journey has officially begun and we remain optimistic and hopeful that it will be met with the same roads we’ve traveled in the past. Mom will continue with three days of treatments, every 21 days, until radiation and immunotherapy is added to treat more aggressively. We are humbled by the outpouring of love and support we have received and appreciate it more than you can imagine. We truly believe in the power of prayer and your positive thoughts and energy will help get us through the difficult days ahead. As always, I remain grateful...xo💗

💗Storming the heavens for prayers for Mom💗

Positive vibes and tons of prayers for mom, who had to start a new course of therapy for her cancer this summer, and will follow up in early November to monitor her progress.
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have”💗