Joy of Life Coaching

MY INNER VOICE

Today I had my first call with Maud Eeckman and her Find your Voice workshop. Participants were asked a question: What’s your inner voice trying to say? What’s your message to your audience?

My inner voice is saying that we can define success on our own terms, breaking free from societal norms and expectations.

For over 40 years I was living life as I “should”. It resulted in entering and staying in toxic relationships, staying at jobs that would stress me out to a point I would sit up on my bed in the middle of the night and sleep talking “reporting status” to my bosses and ultimately pursue goals that were not aligned with who and how I am.

It took me over 40 years to realize what life is really about. It’s not about who gets a bigger paycheck, faster car, more expensive vacation destination. It’s not about hot body and good looks. It’s about knowing who you are, what you stand for, what your values are and live in alignment with them.

I can’t say I know it all now. I’m still learning, especially learning to do what I preach. It’s not easy to change your ways of being and living at a flip of a finger when you’ve been living in a box for decades. But I’m working on it.

And this is my message and invitation to you: would you like to define your own success and achieve it?

These deserve a separate post. Thought this was cute.

I’ve been there. Now dare!

If you're looking for someone who can empathize with life's ups and downs, who has been there, done that and emerged stronger, you’re in the right place. Here's why we might connect:

💔 **Heartbreak Companion:** I've weathered the storms of breakups and walked through the shadows of grief after losing a loved one. And I know that path can feel unbearable and painful when taken by yourself. Let's walk it together, heal, and rebuild stronger.

🚀 **Career Shift Navigator:** My own career journey has taken some fascinating turns, from corporate life to creative endeavors. I was able to tap into my character strengths and make them work for me to provide a boost at every turn.

👨‍👩‍👦 **Parenting Partner:** As a parent myself, and having coached my clients about their parenting, I've seen the highs and lows of raising kids. Whether you're a new parent or a seasoned pro, we can share stories and support each other.

✈️ **Immigration Insights:** Moving to a new country can be daunting. I've been there twice, adapting to unfamiliar surroundings and cultures. Add to that living in four states within the US which in itself compares to immigration to a new country and you practically get a guru of immigration.

🚀 **Entrepreneurial Dreams:** Starting a business from scratch is an adventure I've embarked on. I've stumbled, learned, and celebrated along the way with my own endeavors and those of my clients. Let's explore your entrepreneurial spirit together.

My own life journey has gifted me with PRACTICAL KNOWLEDGE, EMPATHY and RESILIENCE, qualities that I bring to our conversations. I'm here to LISTEN, GUIDE, and ENCOURAGE you as you navigate your unique path.

Treat this just as a warm invitation to connect. 🤗 Feel free to reach out, and let's embark on this incredible journey together. 🌟

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

It was ironic that on my way to a tango event I was listening to Mike Singer and he said this in relation to stress.

He is referring to the definition of stress from an engineering perspective: two energy forces opposing each other. I looked it up and according to Britannica stress, in physical sciences and engineering, is defined as force per unit area within materials that arises from externally applied forces. See how there are two sources of stress: internal and external. Similarly in our lives there are two forces: external being the circumstances around us and internal being our resistance to them. So the stronger the forces, the higher the stress.

Mike's suggestion to reduce stress is to reduce the force you have control over, which is resistance. This is what other spiritual leaders teach as well, like Eckhart Tolle's surrender for example. Here are some ideas on how to let go of resistance.

✅ Release Control: Understand that not everything is within your control. Let go of the need to micromanage every detail and outcome. Trust that by releasing control, you create space for unforeseen opportunities and growth.
✅ Choose Your Battles: Not every situation requires resistance. Evaluate whether it's worth investing your energy and emotions into resisting or if it's more beneficial to let go and conserve your resources for things that truly matter.
✅ Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you find resistance arising. Remember that it's a natural human response, and it takes time to develop a non-resistant approach. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend.
✅ Seek Support: Engage with like-minded individuals or seek guidance from mentors who understand the principles of non-resistance. Sharing experiences and learning from others can reinforce your commitment to this mindset.

Remember that practicing non-resistance is an ongoing journey. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the small victories along the way. By gradually reducing your internal resistance, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling life, just as you'd experience the smooth rhythm of a tango dance.

OWN YOUR WINS

In my work with clients, I consistently stress the significance of recognizing our achievements, aka wins, regardless of their size.

Doing so boosts our self confidence by reinforcing a positive self-image and belief in our abilities, increases motivation and drive and encourages continuous learning and development.

Today, I'm stepping into the spotlight and sharing a glimpse of my own accomplishments. Among these, however, hides an imposter. Can you uncover the one that is not true?

1️⃣ Moved from Account Assistant to Head of Accounts in six months at British Embassy in Moscow
2️⃣ Passed my PMP certification exam from first attempt without prepping in a bootcamp
3️⃣ Was awarded top bonus in my company in 2021 for my contribution to increasing well being of my colleagues
4️⃣ Received an Award from InterNations for my accomplishments as an Ambassador of InterNations Seattle
5️⃣ Was licensed for a food processing plant to make keto baked goods
6️⃣ Completed Camino de Santiago pilgrimage
7️⃣ Obtained yellow belt in Krav-Maga
8️⃣ Won Piroshki Master competition
9️⃣ I am a certified Keto Coach
🔟 I am a certified Zumba Instructor
Can you guess which one is not true?

START WITH THE WHY

When I studied the science of wellbeing, I uncovered the many advantages of embracing optimism and happiness. Research underscores that happy people enjoy enhanced physical and mental health, prolonged lives, amplified success, heightened creativity, and deeper social connections.

Besides these, I've observed that those who embrace happiness are less inclined to engage in detrimental behaviors, such as hostility or aggression. Instead, they actively contribute to the betterment of their own lives and the lives of those around them.

In light of this, I'm driven by the belief that a happy world will inherently become a better world. Moreover, I've immersed myself in the visionary 51 2051 initiative championed by James Pawelski and embraced by Martin Seligman. Its aspiration, to witness 51% of the global population flourishing by 2051 through the tenets of Positive Psychology, has deeply resonated with me.

In line with this inspiring mission, I'm committed to disseminating the wisdom of wellbeing and happiness. My ultimate purpose is to personally guide and empower each individual striving to cultivate a life of optimal balance and fulfillment.

Let's embark on this journey together, fostering a world where happiness thrives and the promise of 2051's transformation becomes a reality.

WHAT DOESN’T KILL US…

I've heard at some point that the three major stressors in one's life are parting with romantic partners, getting a new job, and moving to a different place. These events shake up your life, making you adjust to new routines, feelings, and surroundings.

In 2021, all three happened to me all at once. I got divorced, switched jobs, and moved to a new place. It was like a big earthquake shaking up my life. But I didn't let it knock me down – I used my knowledge of positive psychology and science of wellbeing to stay strong.

First, I learned to handle my feelings better. When something upset me, I'd stop and think:
What caused this? I learned to distinguish between things that were within my control and outside.
What am I telling myself about it? I learned to tell myself that this is not permanent and as King Solomon said "This, too, shall pass".
I also asked myself what good things were still present in my life? Which was plenty! All my family members were alive and healthy, though mostly far away from me, I had my friends around, I had beautiful PNW nature to explore, including hikes in the woods and mountains and kayaking in the beautiful lakes and Puget Sound. Too many blessings to count in one post.

I also paid attention to how stress affects my body. I doubled down on doing things like exercise and meditation to stay healthy and keep my mind clear. Exercise is known for decreasing cortisol (the stress hormone) and increasing dopamine (happiness hormone).

Dealing with a new job wasn't easy, but I believed in myself and didn't let doubt get in my way. I remembered the times I started new jobs in the past (which was quite a few times) and the successes I had. This made me more confident in my ability to tackle the tasks at hand and eventually earn respect and trust from my coworkers.

I also opened up to my friends about how I was doing and they readily were there to support me in all ways possible. They helped me question the negative thoughts I had and see a brighter future. It made me feel that I was not alone, but rather surrounded by kind and loving people who appreciate me and who I appreciate. Continued ➡️➡️

HOMO WHO?

In their thought-provoking book, Martin Seligman et al challenge the traditional label of Homo Sapiens. They introduce an intriguing idea: that we are, in fact, Homo Prospectus – beings wired to anticipate and savor the future. Imagine life as an unfolding treasure hunt, where each day reveals new surprises. That electrifying excitement you experience? It's woven into our very genetic code!

Homo Prospectus isn't just daydreaming; it's the secret sauce of a fulfilling life. Anticipating events amps up our motivation and lights up our brain like a fireworks show. We're not just living; we're crafting a future bursting with joy.

Looking forward isn't just a hobby – it's a ticket to a future of awe and wonder! What is the one thing that you are looking forward to the most?

“I do believe that the reason we were born into this world is to both increase our capacity to love, and to expand our wisdom. I also think that having fun doing both of these would greatly enhance your success.
I believe that's why we get married, have children, and start businesses. If we do all three of these things, then we are confronted with all the things in life that don't work. They are not supposed to work. We invite these events to appear in our lives so that we may see them as opportunities to grow, to learn how to love more deeply, and to expand our wisdom.” Lenny Ravich

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