Glennon Gordon, LICSW

We are up against a lot in this day and age parenting our teens.

Our anxiety and worry about them can often come across as anger, accusations, or criticisms.

Remember that curiosity over criticism always helps calm the system down. Help them problem solve but let them answer thoughtful questions on their own.

Here are some guidelines that may help!

I read an article on the John Gottman website written by and this info graph was a clear example of boundaries verses requests.

When we make requests, we ask them to change their behavior and when we set a boundary, we change our own.

The work I do with couples and individuals is about focusing on what we can control, which of course, is your own thinking and behavior. Setting a boundary is just one way we can tune in to what we need and want in a partnership.

Over focus on another only creates anxiety and tension because we lose self in the process of that focus. What do you need, want, and think? What’s important to you? What do you need to focus on in you that you may have been neglecting due to the focus on what the other person should be doing or not doing?

When I’m starting my work with a new couple, it’s important to asses whether or not they are in a place to be able to freely receive and share information with each other.

Jumping right in can contribute to the tension instead of helping to decrease it.

Emotional safety has usually been lost by the time they reach me, so I teach what it is and what it might look like for them.

Maturity is the ability to problem solve and that’s what I’m here to teach!

Great read. Lots to think about!

“In essence, the pleasure that offers a quick dopamine rush, known as hedonic pleasure, is centred around personal gratification, while the pleasure that endures, eudaimonic pleasure, is derived from actions that serve a greater purpose. So, you’ll be more motivated if you chase higher goals, but also if you tie your existing goals to a higher purpose.”

How to stop procrastinating and level up your motivation in 8 evidence-based steps — BBC Science Focus Magazine | FEATURE | Motivation

Psychobiotics, a groundbreaking area of research that explores the intricate connections between the mind and gut, is revolutionizing our understanding of mental health and well-being. There are certain strands of probiotics they are looking at:
Lactobacillus rhamnosus targets anxiety through GABA receptors.
Bifidobacterium longum mitigates cortisol and psychological distress.
Lactobacillus plantarum influences dopamine and serotonin levels for mood enhancement.
Very interesting!!

Enhancing Mental Wellness with Psychobiotics, the Gut–Brain Connection Psychobiotics benefit human health due to their potential to positively influence the gut–brain axis and the complex interactions between the gut microbiota and the central nervous system.

Who knows if it sticks 🤷‍♀️

It’s really hard not to fall into automatic patterns with a long term partner. They do this, you react that way, you make an assumption or have an expectation, they get defensive, you get annoyed and so on and so on.

It’s much more interesting to create awareness around these patterns. Figure out what’s working and what isn’t working and try and relate to your partner with more intention. Painting people in to corners isn’t fair! Get curious about how they are seeing the world around them, take out the concept of right and wrong and you will revive some energy in your relationship!

We often use other people to help us determine our self worth. This will NEVER work, it will continue to lead us down a negative self worth spiral.

Are you ready to take accountability for how you feel about yourself based on your own actions, thinking and feelings? Let me know if I can help!

Sometimes when we’re with somebody for a while and on a day to day basis it’s hard to see the subtle changes. But the above list may be a sign that your partner is struggling.

What can you do? Great question. People can really only decide for themselves when they need or want help. But you can share your observations gently and with love and compassion.

“I have an observation about some things I’ve noticed with you recently. May I share my observation?”

“I am not being critical but I am concerned about you. Here are the things I’ve noticed (fill in the blank). I’m wondering if you are struggling in a way that maybe you aren’t even aware of?”

If they admit they are struggling ask if they would like help to figure out next steps. Therapy, meditation, medication, reading, are all possibilities for movement in a different direction.

Please DM me if I can help!

We as humans tend to get so focused on the other person and what they are doing or not doing TO us that we forget we always have a choice and control over our part. In fact, our part contributes very much to the overall climate and dynamic in the relationship.

It’s not uncommon for people who tend to be more direct to marry people who are conflict avoidant. Are you doing your part to provide a safe environment for open communication? Can you listen with curiosity and without judgment for the greater good?

Practice!

I think this is great.

Men’s groups are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity American men are lonely, disconnected and angry — a crisis experts say is driven by “cowboy” masculinity. Can organizations like the Journeymen help?