Desi Confessions and Emotions

People are faking everything in weddings now a days.For proposals, they wrote Boy is business man etc and when ask what business he do , the most common reply is own shop etc, . On the other hand they also told that we have plots etc and after marrying that guy Noone owned such plots. It was just faking everything to have a rishta done anywhere and if someone from a good family approach them without lies they just reject them.
So we were approached by a guy’s family and told us that we live in that society (which was correct only) and boy has a shop and Export/Import business and owned flats and plots! But noone ask for the proof before marriage as they randomly told us. We verified from our sources and everything seems fine. After marrying i came to know he used to work in the shop (not owned any shop) and also they lied about plots and flats.Before marriage we verified that the shop at XYZ location is his by the people around. However now we came to know they scammed us. This arrange marriage scheme is so fraud

Hey everyone
This is not a confession
Few weeks ago i posted regarding a arranged proposal he was a divorced guy and he was not communicating with me and his family were insisting to get married as soon as possible or shadi ki date bi fix ho g*i thi
Sab k mashware sune k or bohat soch samjh k istekhara karne k bad maine rishte se mana kar dia...
Mere mana karne k bad 3-4 bad aik source k through mujhe yeh pata chala k wo larka 1 nahi balke 2 bar divorced tha or mujh se wo 3rd shadi kar raha tha
Jis k bare me us ki family ne kuch nahi bataya unhone aik divorce ka bola tha or kaha tha k larki ka character theek nahi tha halka k sune me yeh aya ha ke larki ne khula li hai
Khair yeh rishta to khatam hogaya Alhumdulilah Allah ne mujhe bacha lia lekin something that broke my heart k har bar mere sath aisa hi kyun hota ha
Is se phele bi 2 bar aise hi hoa tha larka divorced tha or us ki family ne chupaya hum se
Pata nahi aise fraud log mujhe hi kyun milte hain
I have lost hopes in people and also in my fate k kabi sahi insan mile ga bi ke nahi
Im tried of trying maine khud try kar k bi dekh lia arrange proposals bi dekh liye nothing worked out for me so far
I feel like giving up now
Im done with everything... i dont know how to ki++ the desire of being loved, the connection and a companion
Kuch bi mil nahi raha or yeh bekar ki khuwashiye bi nahi ja rahi is sab ki waja se me depression me hon
Me yeh soch k bi apne ap ko tasali bi nahi de sakti k age bohat zindagi pari ha im already 34 years old
Aisa lag raha ha sab khatam hi ho gya or ab kisi pe bharosa karne ki himat bi nahi bachi

The struggles of an Elder Daughter
Assalam o Alaikum
I'm 24 Yr old and recently got graduated, hm 4 behnein hein 2 bari married hein or phr me or meri choti behan hai, mere walid ne apni zindagi k 30 se zaid sal foreign country me guzare or sbko support kya apni family me. co++d se phle meri dono bhno ki shadi ho chuki thi or c+++d k bad mere walid sb chor kar wapis Pakistan agaye.

Jbse se wo Pakistan aye wo kuch ni krty, just unki investments hein jis se hmare ghar ka circle chalta hai.c++d k bad mera admission university me hogya or mere walid ni earn krty the tw muje pta chal gya k ab muje hi kuch krna hai me University k sath sath job krti rhi or abi bhi krti hun apni or apne ami Abu ki khuwaishat puri krti rhi.(My parents always refused to take my salary, even when I offered it, so I started buying them gifts instead) is duran or abi bhi mere rishty aty hein even some of my colleagues and friends proposed me but I simply refuse kyun k I don't trust men.my parents gave me all the freedom but I never mi's-used it. meri bari behnein bht kehti hein k iski shadi krdo iski age hou g*i hai muje shadi se bht dar lgta hai ajkl k logo ko dekh kr.kuch din phle mera aik or rishta aya tw mne kha thek hai dekh lete hein is wale ko is din se phle me hamesha inkar krti a rhi thi, lekin mere ami Abu ne rishte pr zyada importance ni Di wo chahty hein me bs job krti rahun or wo chahty hein me bahar kisi Country me chali jao or apni shadi k liye paise kamou.meri ami kehti hein tmhari choti bhn ki phle shadi kr dungi. Muje yeh sun kr dukh hota hai, akhir wo ese ku kehti hein?

Meri hamesha se khuwaish rahi hai k me itni kamyab hojao k apne ami Abu ka beta bn jaou or unko kbi bete ki kami mehsos na hou lekin
Mere walid ko hmari fikr hi ni hai wo chahty hein k me apni shadi b khud hi krun,Akhir me akeli kitna hi k**a longi k me apni shadi khud kr sakun?Sab family wale meri ami ki tareef krty hein k tmhari betiyan bht khoobsurat or khoobseerat hein, hmara ghar bhara hai lekin aik mohalle me hai jahan pr gari ni a sakti sb kehty hein family wale k ghar change kro phr hi ache rishte ayegein lekin mere walid is pr bhi dhiyan ni dete or wo khud hmare sath bhi ni rehty kyun k mere ami Abu ki understanding achi ni hai.meri ami or hme sb bahar k kam khud hi krne prty hein kbi kbi muje yeh sb souch kr bht rona ata hai k sb mushkilat akhir meri ami or hmare liye kyun hein.well. some aunties at events say "tm shadi kb kr rhi ho yehi age hoti hai shadi ki" "bad me ache rishty ni aty" these things haunts me for real" I just I want a genuine advice should I get married if I get a good proposal or should I go abroad for job, what should I say to my parents I don't know what's best for me or what the future holds if I think of marriage it haunts me as well and if I think of going abroad tw muje lgta hai kahi meri shadi ki age na nikal jae, so please suggest me what should I do?

I want to share a story with you guys that happened to me.
I am a software engineer and working in a good company.
I have anxiety and depression problem that killed my relationship and effected my life deeply.
That anxiety is not a simple thing of my life
When I was doing graduation and was in 2nd semester. I felt numbness and fatigue like paralysis in my left side of face and body. At that time I didn't even know the word of anxiety. I got worried about this numbness condition did checkups and MRI brain. All was Ok.
In next 4 years. Slowly I figured out that its due to anxiety that when I am worried about something I feel more numbness and burning on my left side. Also when awake late nights I feel this thing. But I don't feel symptoms when I am happy.
I also figured out with time that this is a trauma that come from childhood abuse or bullying about skin color. That created a insecurity. And that's insecurity and inferiority complex grown so much that even I have everything I was a topper student have good job. but I kept feeling inferior inside in every aspect of life as compare to others.
That thing made me a perfectionist who try to secure everything and make it perfect in a fear that if everything is not correct I will be judged. I thought too much and get depressed over small things like if anything missed or I got less marks or a bonus etc

My graduation end in 2021 started job.
Symptoms of numbness and paralysis like feeling never gone. But I figured it out that its due to anxiety.
I also was aware that its all in my head that worry about things and not harm any body but never know that this thing could effect my behavior towards others.

In 2024 start I got engaged/nikkafied and married in late 2024.
That girl was one and only I started loving and I never imagined to live life without her. She was also graduated in. Mass comm.
The problem started when I got overpossesive after marriage like even she talk to a shopkeeper or be frank with any adult I feel jealous or maybe insecure. I once or two times asked her to not talk shopkeeper and tell me to buy things for her.
Also I was kind of perfectionist and have a thought that wife should obey her husband. I asked her to take dupapata when visit her czns. And got offended when I see her without it.
That thing created my fight with in laws, mostly with mother in law and sis in law. They insulted me that ap ne q kaha dupate ka us ko khud ora ha chezo ka etc. I got more offended.

Also due to anxiety I need her attention everytime like we visited somewhere she was sitting with her jiju and sis in law. I said her why she was sitting with him. Instead you should sit with me as we visited there first etc.

These two to three incidents and little things like this. Also I didn't allow her to do job due to insecurity.
But I was ready to do everything for her to manage her expenses and all things. Never stoped her from buying anything for her as I feel happy on spending her.

At that time I didn't know that I am doing all this due to anxiety and insecurity.

After 5 month due to a little fight she went to mayka and after 2 weeks we call father in law. He said she don't want to be with me and want divorce.
They blame me that I do Shaq on her character.
But my intention was never that. I was overpossesive.
After a fight of 40 days and also apologize and offer her to give her a separate house. She didn't agree.
I only said her to not do job I will do everything thing for her. but she wanted to do job.
They blamed me other small things like I don't have manners of dealing with czns, to spend money ( even I never hesitate to spend on her ), to go out etc.

I got so depressed I didn't know what to do.

They took divorce.
When all that happened I realized that my behavior was not mine. It was all anxiety that I didn't noticed it was fear/ insecurity and past trauma. Nothing I asked for or did was to hurt her and Never had wrong intentions. But I didn't got a chance to prove my self.
I remarried due to insecurity within 2 months. Will have a baby soon.

Now the meaning of my life is gone. I lost Interest in everything can't do my job. I regret every single day that what I did I should not do those things. She should be with me in my life.
Even after 8 months. I can't sleep. I had s+++al thoughts.

Can someone guide me?

In early 2022, one of my relatives from another city came to attend a family wedding. I saw her then, and although I didn’t have any feelings at that time, I found her very beautiful.
Later that year, when I joined college, I met a girl through everyday campus activities and friend gatherings. Over time, I started noticing her differently. Gradually, I developed feelings for her. I began making dua for her daily, asking Allah to write her in my destiny. We spent a lot of time together, sharing laughter, jokes, and light-hearted moments, always within respectful boundaries.
By early 2024, even though we knew each other well, our understanding wasn’t strong. I confessed my feelings to her, making it clear that I never intended to have a haram relationship. Her response was a rejection. I accepted it with respect, though it did hurt.
Around that same period, the same relative and her family visited ag*in. Slowly, I found myself liking her, though I didn’t fully understand my emotions at the time. After graduating from college, my feelings for the college girl didn’t fade immediately, and I went through a phase of emotional heaviness.
Later, during another family wedding where everyone had gathered, I spent more time with my relative. After meeting her ag*in, my feelings for the college girl completely faded, as if they had been replaced. Many things happened during that time which I’m not ready to share, but one thing became clear—I had developed feelings for her.
Later that year, the college girl got married. I didn’t feel sadness or jealousy; instead, I felt happy that she chose the halal path.
It has now been more than a year that I have silently loved my relative. I haven’t confessed my feelings, and I’m not willing to either. I am simply praying for the right time.
Through this journey, I learned that loving someone and asking for them in your prayers does not mean they are meant for you. Sometimes Allah allows love to enter your heart not to make it permanent, but to teach you that He has His own plans—and truly, Allah is the best of planners.

Plz hide my identity! I'm a 27yrs old female married to 42yrs old male coz mere baba drug addict thy aur mere prhy likhy aur khoobsurat honay k bawajood rishty nhi thy. 2 saal pehly shadi hui and he's is already married and divorced hm city me alag rehtay hain in laws village me hotay hain shuru me sbb theek thaa abb jbb susral jati hon kaam b sary mene e krny hain aur meri saas taunt b krti rehti kher i don't mind k saas hai aur kia expect krr skti me uss se but msla ye hai k jbb village jati hon husband 24hours saas k peechy peechy ghoomty ok i understand maa hai uski but city wapis aty hain tbb b mujy skoon se thoda b time nhi detay exactly like practical uncles me choti hon still he doesn't show any more care khana peena theek hai thoda bht khrcha b detay hain but as a wife its not enough mujy dill krta hai meri care kren meri respect krn aur mujy time den but unka behavior abb cold sa hota h taunt b krty rehty me kuch bol don toh kehtay tum toh kisi baat pr sabar e nhi krti me thkk gyi hon abb do saal huay shadi ko aik baby girl ha one year old wo bht pasand unhen Alhamdulillah but meri koi value hai na e respect. Abb dill krta unko unk haal pr chor don me b baat na kron kron toh rude si exactly jesy wo krty me sara din agy peechy ghoomti kya khayen gy kia piyen gy but is insaan ko qadar e nhi give some suggestions but plz be kind as it matters alot. Thank you

Rational opinion required.
I’m 35, father of 2 daughters. Due to health issues of my wife, she can never conceive ag*in. She’s a practicing doctor and Ive built an entire small scale hospital for her to practice to her extent. I’ve my own house and Alhamdulillah well settled business.
THE PROBLEM IS.
1- She’s very dull and non creative. 8 saal say same breakfast kar raha hoon. So you can get an idea.
2- Without any argument, just agree with me on and suggest me please… my business is fully male oriented business. So I do feel the need of a son.
I intend to have a second wife to add the missing parts of my life. I know it’s not certain. But it’s also not certain the other way around. I feel I should not let this time pass by and try to achieve what I aim to achieve.
Please suggest how should I proceed with life.
Adoption is also not an option

I want to share something that happened to me today, and honestly, it’s been stuck in my mind.
I was at Sea View with my 2 friends (1 girl and 1 guy) . The guy went home because he lived nearby and the girl and I were just about to leave as well. Then something happened that completely shook me.

A man came up to us — I don’t even know if he was a real poli+++an or not — and started thr+++ning us. He said we weren’t allowed to be there, saying this girl and boy hangout is not allowed, thre++++ed to take us to the po++e station, demanded mo++y, and even took my ID card. I was shook, but I handled it calmly.

Luckily, a few people came and spoke to him, and he eventually let us go. But even after it was over, I couldn’t stop replaying it in my head. My mind keeps imagining worst-case scenarios.

I know logically none of those things could have happened. We did nothing wrong. He had no real power. Nothing happened, and we’re safe. But my brain keeps playing the scene over and over. I wanted to ask that how to tackle this kinda situations ahead and has this happened to any of you as well?

Hello
Meri age 23 ha abhi shadi hoe ha meri cousin marriage aik saal pahle mangani hoe lkn mera dil nhi tha shadi krne ka mjhy larka nhi tha pasand lkn phir family pressure me a kr krni pari ab jb krli ha to mjhy woh shakhs bht koshish ke bewajood bhi acha nhi lagta mjhy uska wajood bardsht nhi hota usy dekh ajeeeb depression hota ha mjhy ik pal sakoon ka nhi milta meri shadi ko 3 month hoye hn me just kuch din wahn rahi ab ami ghr ho jane ka dil nhi krta mjhy raaton ko neend nhi atii hrr wqt ik pachtawa ke me shadi kr ke is se ghalti krdi me parhi likhi ho aor woh matric pass shakl sorat bhi nhi achii na bol chal na kuch aisa kuch nhi jo us me mjhy acha lagy me bezar ho chuki ho aor nhi pata kiya kro

Hello everyone ,I like how some of the educated lot give honest opinions so here I am

Previously I mentioned that my husband is verbally abu++ve and use ghaleez language when in rage and then put all blame on me for making him go to this level halanke I don't abu+e back , I don't use slang like he does ,I'm a dr and I believe k esi bkwas kar k insan apni nazron me girta he or hmen dusre k level pr nai utarna chahea

The issue is we had a minor argument in which he started bashing and name calling me while i left the place, he is so emotionally dysregulated that while I was sitting among his family he came and started discussing the matter with and in front of them, I told him this is not the way but he didn't stop, and my mil also started taking his side,raised her voice on me, I was speechless and shocked k (so called) civilized gharon me esa bhi hota he. This the second time he did this in our 3 years marriage pehel ese ni tha lekin maa ne bol rakha sb muje btaya kro(that she has said on my face). I feel like somebodysnatched my clothes..ese hote hein shohr? Wo to libas hote hein ,bedroom ki baat bahr ni nikalni chahea i always told him but I fear there's no privacy left isne hmesha se sb btaya hoga

But afsos k he is sucha mama boy khuda kre kisi din gari k niche ajae ameen. Previously I warned him I won't tolerate this sh # # ag*in but he did this ag*in and he threatens to phy? ++lly abu+e me too. We have a daughter and I have a prvt job.i was tolerating him for the sake of our child... Should I leave this man? Q k me sari zindagee ye zalalt dekhna nai chahti. Idk what to do about this marriage,hope was one thing that kept me going and may be some of the good days as everywhere not all days are bad.my parents don't support seperation and aram se kehte hein phr khud bhugatna bad me jesi life ho(agar wo ek bar b bolen k theek he ajao ye bnda sath rehne k laiq nahi khuda ki kasam ek sec na lagati ghar chorne me)

Mere ghar wale kehte hein tum chup rha kro brdasht kro but I don't believe ye wo purani sadi he k chup chap sehti rahu. Jb hosh me hota he to acha hota he lekin itna maloom ho gya he ye bnda mera nahi he na bane ga.

If a women took khula. Will she get easily married ag*in through rishta wali aunties. ?? What do men think about women who take khula.

Hi im26y(f) ma last 7 year s relationship ma thi abhi last month h Meri shadi hui h apna lover s pr BAAT yeah h k ma reserved rehti hu Mera ghr ma b ma sbsa alag h rehti thi mujha space psnd h pr Mera husband bht chipko h HR time aga peecha ghomta h mujha bht gussa ata h HR time mujha romance nhi psnd h yeah BAAT nhi h k ma romantic nhi hu pr mujha HR time nhi psnd yeah sb agr m moo s space mang lo Tu unko gussa ajata h k Mera liya itna sb krta h badla m ma unko time nhi daskti hu plz mujha suggest kra k main Kiya kro Kiya ma galat hu galat krrhi hu unka sth