Sheriff of Nottingham

Has anyone got a cheap horse for sale ? all this walking hurts my feet !

tours are now available so I can educate all you peasants on MY city. Bookings being taken now !

Christmas Medieval & Pirate Banquets for Christmas 2013 Book your Christmas party for 2013, Nottingham's most popular medieval night out.Our hilarious new panto medieval dinner show. Packed full of festive fun and entertainment.

To all you lucky peasants, I will wandering around MY banquet hall from 2nd Feb showing you why I am so great and Robin is so rubbish. After all there is nothing better than spending time with idiots to remind me how fantastic I am !!!!!!!!!!!

Women, how can they manage to hit that particular pitch that makes you want to Pierce your Eardrum with a stick?

Star Awards 2012

WANTED, new charge required, low mileage, well groomed and well fed, will pay up to 100 groats + first in line for castle scraps !

Just a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to be nasty to the public, and they love him for it? That's it, then! Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!

IS SOMEONE PULLING MY LEG !!! A mad deed seen by my Knights of Nottingham today was a group of villagers from Gotham, fencing off a small tree in order to keep a cuckoo captive from me. They are all mad round here ! Now I've got to keep my knights away from there otherwise they to will catch this madness, which means re-routing the kings highway and NO bloody taxes ! Its so stupid, next they will have an Inn named after it just to rub my nose in it, I'm going to Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem for a pint.