The Not So Secret Foster Carer

01/11/2026

It's National Care Leavers Month and National Authors Day today. I'm shouting out to younger writers this year. 🖋📖

So, I'm sharing my friends lovely poem again.

It's a beautiful poem and hopefully the first of many she will publish. This poem will be included in my next book, 'The Not So Secret Foster Carers' 📖📚💜

I didn’t have the easiest start,
My childhood has left its mark,
There were times I felt so lost,
Alone, afraid and in the dark.

Being a care leaver wasn’t easy,
There were battles I had to face,
Addiction, struggles with my mental health,
And days I couldn’t find my place.

But somewhere along the journey,
I found a strength I didn’t know,
I learned to stand on my own two feet,
And slowly found a way to grow.

Now I have a home to call our own,
A little place that means so much,
It’s more than just four walls to me,
It’s somewhere filled with love and trust.

And then came my little girl,
My beautiful bright little light,
She gave my life a different meaning,
A reason to keep fighting the fight.

She reminds me every single day
That my past does not define me,
That I can build a brighter future,
And become the person I want to be.

Of course, there are lonely moments,
And days when things feel hard,
But when I look at where I am today,
I realise I’ve come so far.

And one day I hope to help someone
Who feels the way I once did,
A younger care-experienced person
Who feels lost, alone or scared.

I want to use the things I’ve lived through,
Not hide them or pretend,
But turn my pain into a purpose,
And become somebody’s friend.

If my experiences can help another
Believe that they can make it through,
If I can give someone some hope
When they don’t know what to do,

Then maybe all those difficult moments
Can become something good,
And I can give another young person
The support I wish I’d had in my childhood.

I want to make a difference,
I want to help people see,
That where you start your journey
Doesn’t decide who you will be.

I’m not just a care leaver, I’m a mother,
I’m independent, strong and free.
I’ve been through things that shaped me,
But they will never be all of me.

My past is part of my story,
But it doesn’t hold the pen.
I’m building something beautiful now,
And I’m proud of who I am.

For my daughter, for my future,
And for the people I may help someday—
I’ll keep moving forward,
One step, one day at a time.

Love you, SC 🫂💜

31/10/2026

What a brilliant way to spend a Saturday evening! 🧡💜🩵💚💛❤️🤎

In my other role as youth and family support worker, it was an honour to introduce some of our girls from URBOND Youth Development Programme to their first musical theatre, and with my very first, and favourite musical, 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat!!

I sang in this musical at age 12 (some 40+ years ago!🤫🤦‍♀️) and it was truly magical sharing it today with our lovely youngsters 🫂🧡

Thank you, Kyla, for letting me take the girls and thank you so much to Sue and The Portsmouth Players for gifting us the tickets.

What a remarkable cast, your standing ovation was truly deserved 👌🎼🎵🎶💜

31/10/2026

Happy Halloween to all you beautiful people 🧡🖤💚🪦⚰️🕷🕸🦇

29/10/2026

Most people know that I'm passionate about supporting young people.

Last night, here in Portsmouth, at the amazing Keppel's Head Hotel, we enjoyed a lovely evening bringing care experienced young people together in a social engagement activity.

In my role as foster carer at Foster Portsmouth and as youth and family support worker at URBOND Youth Development Programme I was honored to accompany my good friend, Sammie.

Sammie is the author of this beautiful poem which will be included in my next book: 📚💜

I didn’t have the easiest start,
My childhood has left its mark,
There were times I felt so lost,
Alone, afraid and in the dark.

Being a care leaver wasn’t easy,
There were battles I had to face,
Addiction, struggles with my mental health,
And days I couldn’t find my place.

But somewhere along the journey,
I found a strength I didn’t know,
I learned to stand on my own two feet,
And slowly found a way to grow.

Now I have a home to call our own,
A little place that means so much,
It’s more than just four walls to me,
It’s somewhere filled with love and trust.

And then came my little girl,
My beautiful bright little light,
She gave my life a different meaning,
A reason to keep fighting the fight.

She reminds me every single day
That my past does not define me,
That I can build a brighter future,
And become the person I want to be.

Of course, there are lonely moments,
And days when things feel hard,
But when I look at where I am today,
I realise I’ve come so far.

And one day I hope to help someone
Who feels the way I once did,
A younger care-experienced person
Who feels lost, alone or scared.

I want to use the things I’ve lived through,
Not hide them or pretend,
But turn my pain into a purpose,
And become somebody’s friend.

If my experiences can help another
Believe that they can make it through,
If I can give someone some hope
When they don’t know what to do,

Then maybe all those difficult moments
Can become something good,
And I can give another young person
The support I wish I’d had in my childhood.

I want to make a difference,
I want to help people see,
That where you start your journey
Doesn’t decide who you will be.

I’m not just a care leaver, I’m a mother,
I’m independent, strong and free.
I’ve been through things that shaped me,
But they will never be all of me.

My past is part of my story,
But it doesn’t hold the pen.
I’m building something beautiful now,
And I’m proud of who I am.

For my daughter, for my future,
And for the people I may help someday—
I’ll keep moving forward,
One step, one day at a time.

Thank you, Stronger Futures Portsmouth for the invitation. And, of course, it's always great to bump into the legendary Mandy Magee at the Keppel's Head 👌💜

It was also lovely catching up with Councillor Nick Dorrington from Portsmouth City Council. Thank you for your welcoming inspirational speech. 🎤📢👍👌😊

24/10/2026

When you're trying to write a book with your bestie (who's also a single foster carer) and you both have little ones to entertain it's not always easy to get together to work on your manuscript!! 🤪📚🖋📖

So, thank you, Jo Hadley, for a wonderful morning at Play Planet where checking over some new writing together proved to be great fun! 😊🖋📖👍

While the children played we enjoyed hot chocolate and grown-up chats, even working through some book stuff every now and then!! 📖👌

Thinking outside the box! ✔️ It's definitely a foster carer thing

Love you, bestie 💜

This book will share what it's really like to be a modern, therapeutic foster carer. It will also include some fun moments, educational material around therapeutic parenting, poetry, and contributions from our birth family members. It going to be very informative 📖✔️💜

23/10/2026

Siblings who've experienced trauma together

When children share a trauma bond, the relationship is often one that brings feelings of safety and security. However, this is not always so; for some, being with siblings can, at times, become retraumatising

Where possible, and safe to do so, we do our utmost to keep siblings together in foster care

There is a great need for foster carers who can welcome sibling groups into their homes. Please consider this if you're thinking of becoming a foster carer

This time last year I wrote this poem about my own sibling; our trauma bond is our superstrength 💪🏆

MY SISTER

What is a sister, I hear you say
Well, let me explain in my own unique way
My sister's a person beyond compare
Whenever I need her I know she'll be there

She's more than a sister, she's a best friend to me
The kindest person there could ever be
When I'm sad or afraid, or feeling alone
I reach for my sister, she feels like home

She is my safety, a place to retreat
If life suddenly seems to turn up the heat
She welcomes me home with open arms
I know in her care I'm protected from harm

As children we were known by unusual names
They came by accident, a bit of a game
But life found a way to hold on to those years
When we were affectionately known as Noddy and Big Ears

Now saved for each other as terms of endearment
They were never used with any other intent
But what I will say is, despite how I natter,
As I child I spoke little, but that's another matter

My sister is a person who guides and inspires
With her caring ways and enormous heart
She offers support to any in need
Her life is filled with the kindest of deeds

To family and friends she radiates love
She's a wonderful gift from God above
He sent her to us to love and treasure
My love for her could never be measured

In every moment in each new day
I know she's caring in her own special way
We journeyed together through nursing school
She is more sensible, while I play the fool

But when my humour starts to diminish
She senses a need, she's quick to witness
Knowing me better than I know myself
She suddenly appears like a magical elf

She's a family person, nurturing us all
Sharing celebrations big and small
It's one of the things we most love to do
But at each family party she must have a brew

I'm the luckiest person, that much is true
I have a sibling who's there for me and for you
She'll happily give you her time and attention
She's the best sister ever, did I give that a mention

By Jo Austin

With Foster Portsmouth, Fostering South East, Foster Wales, Fostering in West Sussex, Fostering North Yorkshire, Brighter Futures for Children, Fostering South West, Essex County Council Fostering & Adoption, Cumbria Fostering and Kinship, Fostering Service - Hampshire County Council, Fostering in Somerset, Southampton City Council Fostering Service, Fair Ways Fostering, TheraParent Fostering and Fostering North East



Pictured are two little girls, me and my sister, sharing a garden tea party at a small table. The picture is shared with permission 💜💜

21/10/2026

A poem for ADHD Awareness Month

Executive function, what could that be?
What does it mean to you and me
Is it a fad, a new found thing
What are the problems that this could bring

When the brain is affected and wired all wrong
And they just can't learn the words of the song
Grown ups grow weary at the sound of the fight
As they try and hide things with all their might

Masking and fawning, fight or flight
Each child is dealing with a harrowing blight
They didn't ask for this dreadful curse
Or ill equipped adults who make it all worse

Their senses are heightened, on extra alert
Hypervigilant to avoid more hurt
They hide in the shadows the quiet dim light
In case they reveal their inner fright

Bravado and foolishness behind the mask
Hides the truth, they can't manage that task
But they won't let us see that innocent truth
It's just not safe, no trust from these youth

Spatial awareness brings more in its wake
Limited perception is hard to shake
Uncomfortably clumsy in all that they do
They didn't mean to lose that shoe

Impulsive and fearless brings more things to head
They didn't intend to break that bed
But many an incident, often a fall
Too many to mention, so much to it all

Aggression and outbursts can add to the story
There's no winning, no medals, no inner glory
For these children the challenge is real
How can we help them to learn, to heal

With patience and guidance, understanding and care
They can dream of anything if they dare
We can help them understand and see
That the world is still there for those with ADHD

By me, Jo Austin

With, Foster Portsmouth, Foster Wales, Fostering South East, Fostering North Yorkshire, Fostering in West Sussex, Brighter Futures for Children, Essex County Council Fostering & Adoption, Fostering Service - Hampshire County Council, Southampton City Council Fostering Service, Fostering South West, Fostering in Somerset, SEND Butterflies South Coast and Cumbria Fostering and Kinship

Pictured is one of my beautiful granddaughters.
Sometimes she finds it easier to play without the distraction of others. She has severe ADHD. She has the biggest heart and is super creative. She also loves animals and is pictured with our Shetland Sheepdog, Hope Nevaeh, standing close by 💜

20/10/2026

A friend suggested that I ask AI what it knows about me. The things it shared about my writing kind of explain how I grew into the role of therapeutic foster carer.

Quite a surprising read for me 🤔

Looking at Jo and writing

1. Walking with Love and Autism — her first book

Published by Athena Press in 2010, this is the more focused of her first two books. It tells the story of raising her son Robert, from his difficult early development through the eventual recognition of learning difficulties, ADHD and autism.

The important thing about it is that Jo isn't writing about autism from an academic or clinical perspective. She's writing as a mother trying to understand what was happening to her child while keeping her family together.

The book describes difficulties around early development, education and getting appropriate understanding and support. Despite the difficult experiences, its overall message is described as hopeful and inspiring.

It also establishes something that becomes important later: Jo's instinct to turn difficult personal experiences into something that might help others.

2. Tug of Love — much more personal
Her second book, Tug of Love: A Story of Life, Love and Loss, was published on 4 February 2022.

This is not simply a sequel to the autism book.
It's essentially a life memoir. Jo describes herself as an anxious child who grew into a young woman affected by self-doubt, anxiety and low self-esteem, before eventually becoming a much more confident woman and mother. Her own website says the book deals with mental health, OCD, chronic physical illness, motherhood and caring for a child with additional needs.

One of the striking things is that she doesn't present herself as someone who has always been exceptionally strong. Quite the opposite: the story is about becoming stronger.

3. The reaction to Tug of Love

The individual reviews are interesting.

One reviewer particularly valued Jo's account of living with OCD, saying that memoirs dealing with that experience are relatively uncommon. They also described the book as empathetic and said its ordinary, recognisable quality was part of its strength.

Another described it as an honest and moving memoir, praising Jo's positivity and strength.

Perhaps the most detailed review describes it as an open and raw account of childhood, adulthood and motherhood, including difficult family relationships, anxiety, chronic illness and raising a child with additional needs. That reviewer specifically found her decision to become a foster carer particularly impressive.

So the consistent response isn't really "this is an extraordinary literary masterpiece."
It's more:

"This is an honest, relatable account of somebody who has been through difficult things and kept going."
And that seems much closer to what Jo intended.

4. There is a common thread between the two books
I think this is the most interesting part.

Walking with Love and Autism is largely about:

"How do I understand and help my child?"

Whereas Tug of Love is much more:

"How did everything that happened to me shape the woman and mother I became?"

And then her later fostering work takes that one stage further:

"How can I use what I've learned to help other vulnerable children and families?"

That's why her writing and her later career make considerably more sense when viewed together.

5. Her writing is deliberately accessible
Tug of Love is described as an emotive memoir rather than a literary or academic work.

The reviews also mention the simple, conversational and empathetic quality of the writing.

One reviewer essentially describes the experience as feeling as though Jo is sitting in the room telling you her story. That appears to be deliberate.

She's writing primarily for ordinary people who may recognise themselves in the experiences — particularly mothers, carers and people dealing with mental-health problems or children with additional needs.

6. Her poetry is an interesting newer development

What's changed more recently is that Jo appears to be using poetry alongside memoir.

Her public professional activity shows her writing poetry around subjects such as fostering, women, inclusion, community and Portsmouth. This fits surprisingly well with the themes of her books.

Her earlier writing says, essentially:
"This is what happened to my family."

Her newer writing seems more like:
"This is what I've learned from it, and this is what I want other people to think about."

That feels like a shift from memoir → advocacy.

7. And there is a very strong personal philosophy underneath it
Across the material I've found, several ideas keep appearing:

• people shouldn't be defined by their difficulties;
• mental illness isn't a choice;
• children with additional needs need people who will persist with them;
• mothers and families need understanding rather than judgement;
• relationships and attachment matter enormously;
• difficult experiences can eventually produce empathy;
• and people can change considerably over the course of their lives.

That last point may actually be the central theme of Tug of Love. Jo presents herself as someone who didn't start out particularly confident or resilient but became that way through experience.

No holds barred!!

Book number four will definitely be about advocacy 👍

With Foster Portsmouth, Fostering South East, Brighter Futures for Children, Fostering in West Sussex, Fostering North Yorkshire, Foster Wales, and Jo Austin Author

19/10/2026

Children of Foster Carers Week

Pictures by my granddaughter, aged 8

The creative project title was, 'What it's like to be Part of a Foster Family'

With Foster Portsmouth and Portsmouth City Council

Today marks the final day of 'Children of Foster Carers Week' My grandchildren (eldest is 13) have all been born into an existing foster family. They don't know anything different. But.... They didn't choose to be part of a foster family; they didn't sign anything, it was something that was already....

10/10/2026

On World Mental Health Day,

I'm sharing some honest vulnerability in a poem I wrote about my own struggles with severe mental health illness as a younger adult 🫂

My own experience is what helped to create empathy and understanding for others.🫂💜

OCD, DEPRESSION, AND ME

I didn't want to be here, I felt I'd never belong
And each road to recovery seemed completely wrong
But how to make them listen and see
Those beasts in my head, who were taunting me

First came medications, with side effects so rough
The doctors kept prescribing, until I'd had enough
I didn't mean to hurt my family
I thought that this was my destiny

Seven medications, every single day
That changed my personality, I was a completely different way
I'm deeply sorry for what happened that year
It was honestly born from a place of fear

So, I tried two times to take my own life
I know that sounds awful, not at all nice
I hope my family understand
I was led to this by the monsters' hand

Su***de is preventable
But only with support
I felt that I was all alone
The true realities must be taught

We must shine a light on mental health
On depression, su***de, and everything else
To let others know that it's ok to talk
To help men, women, and children to avoid this walk

Next for me came ECT
I can't understand why they did that to me
Electrical impulses sent through my brain
I wondered, would I ever be the same

Local doctors couldn't help me
So, they sent me to London for CBT
Here at last they heard my story
The good and the bad, in all it's glory

At last, I was free to find my true self
And the medicines were finally returned to the shelf
No more hiding the terrible pain
To let go of the past, a better future, the aim

We talked, and we drew, we even wrote books
They helped me to see things weren't as they looked
I learned to break free from the ruminations
That led to such awful compulsive actions

When at last I returned to my family and home
I finally knew that I wasn't alone
I had plenty who loved and cared for me
But it took strangers to help me to see

A different perspective the doctors shared
That a brave new world was there if I dared
To take a chance, set my true colours free
And let others see the magnificent me

I have a wonderful life these days for sure
Twenty-six years in recovery, and more
And in all I do I never forget
The amazing doctors and nurses I met

I share my story so others will know
That there is help out there and somewhere to go
When things get tough and you think you're done
Please reach out, there's good things to come

With love, hope, and peace

By Jo Austin, Jo Austin Author 🫂💜