Kia Kaha David (2026)

It's an ongoing disaster in my life after losing my beautiful son. Monday 3rd of September 2014. Sunday David and I had been to Westbourne ave out of hours doctor after calling 111. They suggested blood tests and referred him to HRI where in A&E he was promptly seen, when he struggled for breath they immediately sent him for X Rays which exposed a “shadow” which pointed to pneumonia. Given a bed for the night in the respiratory ward, level 5, ward 5 he joined a group of ageing, suffering men, one of whom in the next bed promptly passed away. As the body bag was wheeled past Davids inadequately drawn curtain David watched the body bag. As the nursing staff pumped antibiotics into him we were however optimistic. Davids focus was on getting back to college and carrying on with his A levels. Specifically continuing with his Oxford University application his long term goal which has every chance of reaching fruition. He is concerned a week in Hospital with Pneumonia will cut down on the time to finish his personal statement for Oxford. On the 4th of September the consultant, ominously asks for a "word". Cold shiver up the back now. She told us after having a look at Davids CT scan, and asking a specialist to examine David had lumps which appeared to be cancer. The entire world is on its head now. Davids mother arrives, we all hug. Already not wanting to do anything to cause David more distress, its not possible to stop crying though. Nurses on the Ward, come and give us spontaneous hugs, such an emotive issue for everyone. Some nurses cry. They have all recognised the good, kind generous nature in our son. There is a terrible rage, anger, why him! He's a good guy, he's never hurt anyone! he works hard, he's doing well. I can't go home, leave him. His mum Kim and I struggle with this horror. Quickly we are told that Teen Oncology at Castle Hill Hospital have referred us to Leeds Teen Oncology Ward 33 as being the best place for David to receive treatment. I am asked if I would drive him or wait until transport is available. I haven't slept for two days but get sorted and we're on the road in about three hours. The M62 will become as memorable as our home street. At first I drive and David and I are distressed at having to go to Leeds. "If its because of bed availability i'm gonna kick off" I'm floating in and out of anger, fear and despair. Over it all is the depth of love I feel for my son. Thinking of his mum, she's in pain too. This is bringing us together after many years. We need to stand together for David here. We arrive at Leeds General Infirmary (LGI). The Sat nav takes us to a point on a half square mile site, I ring the ward, a lovely healthcare assistant answers and immediately finds where we are and walks over, jumps in the passenger seat and guides us to a park near the ward, we are given a parking permit, David is clerked in and the staff begin introducing themselves. We quickly realise we are in the right place for us. The expertise is here, the staff won the "Oncology team of the year" award with the care quality awards last year. We meet Simone, davids consultant. She informs us... "It will be difficult to fix David" because of the spread of what we learn is Ewings Sarcoma. She tells us that people who have been in worse positions then David have won through. She tells us her intention is to cure David... and bringing tears to our eyes she tells us she can't promise anything regarding Davids cure, but she promises that under her care David will receive the same care as she would give her own daughter. Can anyone expect more? We love you son. Kia Kaha.

29/08/2026

Another year since we lost the most beautiful, caring, generous, loving and intelligent person in our lives.
I don't know what David would be doing now... he was going to Oxford Uni on their early starters program, he wanted to be "Dr" David Kay... Doctor of medical research. I think with his intelligence and drive he would have done it.
But there was another side, I've been following Tibetan Buddhists for 30 years now.
David was named by my Tibetan teacher The Venerable Thubten Rinpoche. Naming is the Tibetan equivalent of a baptism... Davids Tibetan name or "dharma" name was Jampa Leksog. He was incredibly proud of this and was finding his own way into Buddhism, I don't know, he talked about wearing the maroon and saffron robes of a monk.
When David left us, half an hour before he passed he pulled the oxygen mask off his face and smiled and said "I'm sorry to put you through this dad". He was trying to make me feel better. Thats incredible, it's also very Buddhist. The last fifteen minutes he smiled twice, showed no fear and seemed to be reassuring me. Again very Buddhist. Encouraging me not to fear losing him.

The question I've asked myself after a lovely very accomplished nun talked to me and asked "what if it was you"? I have fought that question for a couple of months. Would I be able to do that?
In Buddhism it's about releasing someone from attachment.. attachment is a great enemy of peace. Attachment causes suffering, you may be attached to anything.. a partner, a car, a child, a job, a house... whatever it is it will ultimately lead to suffering, because whatever your attached to will eventually let you down.

So although David wasn't formally a Buddhist, we call it "Taking Refuge in the Three gems", Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Or Buddha, the teachings of Buddha and the Buddhist community. Then you would take "refuge" in a teacher who will guide you. But David had read a lot and talked to me a lot and maybe something guided him. I don't know if I would be able to have the courage David showed.
But my teacher The Venerable Thubten Rinpoche said a few times one day David will be an auspicious Buddhist.

Or a Doctor researching how to cure people.

I miss you mate, so do many others, you shone while you was with us. You still shine now.
Below pictures of David with my teacher in New Zealand, he was so calm until I got the camera out. It was always lovely to visit Rinpoche and he always loved seeing David, or "Jampa" as he called him. (Rinpoche means he's a recognised reincarnation of a high monk.)

He taught me much too.

25/12/2025

Merry Christmas every one.

Watch the official video for Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl, now available in HD. Stream The Pogues' greatest hits here ▶ https...

18/12/2025

I always wanted this to play at Davids service but it's just too long, I've always regretted not playing it as people were leaving. Such a big crowd. All those hugs and tears.... Everyone all beautiful and caring, all the staff from Leeds LGI..... unbelievable and Laura Foody who David tried to protect from his illness. It still overwhelms me now, Yanis from Crete the landlord of the Hallgate tavern who put such an amazing spread on, I thanked him and he just said it had o be the best for David. I saw Skynard a couple of times and this song was always the encore along with "Sweet home Alabama". This brings tears to my eyes evrytime I see it or hear it.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird | Live at Oakland Coliseum Stadium (1977)Explore the sound of Lynyrd Skynyrd with “Freebird – Live at Oakland Coliseum Stadium 1977...

17/12/2025

Happy 29th birthday son. Now you would be "Dr David Kay" of medical research after training at Oxford. You would have flown above those dreaming towers.
Thats why its BS when people say it eases with time, it doesn't you just wander more and more what they would have achieved.

Official Video for “Carry On Wayward Son” by KansasListen to Kansas: https://Kansas.lnk.to/listenYDWatch more videos by Kansas: https://Kansas.lnk.to/listenY...

Address

Website

facebook.com

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Kia Kaha David posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Kia Kaha David