Basic Mom

It's been a while since I wrote anything on this page. It's not that I have much to say but at times life happens and it takes you on a different route. It might be a way of God working or maybe it's just that everything has its own time and season. I have a desire to write a few things but not sure how to start. I think this is a start. I hope I get the chance to hear from people who used to encourage me to continue and the ones who felt I had said something worthwhile. A small impact is still an impact we cannot all be presidents or kings to make a difference. Hope I gather my thoughts and I will be back with a little more love and more wisdom. Thanks for reading my posts on basic mom.

Life is quite interesting and it never seems to give us full satisfaction but I think that is why God was so particular with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. These fruits I tend to feel can summarize how we need to live a full life so that we do not find ourselves in tough situations. One of the fruits is patience something that I have had to learn the hard way in the past few years....

WATER YOUR LAWN Life is quite interesting and it never seems to give us full satisfaction but I think that is why God was so particular with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. These fruits I tend to feel can summarize…

This has been weighing on my heart for quite some time now and I did not know how to put this in writing, but after the death of Osinachi I have prayed about it and decided to write and say my truth. I am blessed in many ways and I thank God that I have the chance to voice my feelings....

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE This has been weighing on my heart for quite some time now and I did not know how to put this in writing, but after the death of Osinachi I have prayed about it and decided to write and say my trut…

LOW MOMENTS
I realized I write best when I am sincere with what am feeling at that particular moment. My feelings trigger some memories that I feel that I should share and maybe it will reach one or two who need it. I know many people tend to have moments that they feel that the world is against them and nothing is going right. As am writing this I want to say that I am not undermining any situation or making mine look bigger than for others but am just venting so that I can be able to get out of the house and be okay. I normally talk a lot and when I feel I have bottled up too much for one reason or the other I tend to get into a funk that makes me feel so down. Please bear with me as I type because it is my therapy. Thanks for indulging me.
The past few weeks have been rough on me emotionally because I think I tend to want things to happen in a certain way. Things have been falling apart and I feel like everything that I do is not working out. I set goals that don’t seem to come to fruition and this economic situation is adding salt to injury. I feel like a failure in so many aspects of my life, and it has taken a toll on me. I do not have anything that seems to excite me but I try and wake up and move.
I know am blessed and I am not complaining am just venting. I am human and I know there are moments I will be down. I wish I knew how to counter it but I thank God it is only for a season. I have a beautiful family and wonderful parents and siblings and for that I say thank you God. They are a great source of support and they are always there to encourage me. I am in that space of thinking about the future and freaking out. I look at people who are out there and doing what they love and I really envy them. Understanding your strengths and putting them into good use is not something that comes easy for me. I really admire the people who already know their talents and this has been a weight on my shoulder for a while. When I see my friends and friend’s talents and I cannot see mine it weighs me down. I get frustrated when I see someone with such beautiful talent and they are wasting it because for me that is one thing that has never really checked in. There are some I thought I had but I shelved them after I realized that even the ones closest to me did not appreciate them. It is true what they say that it is the ones closest to you that hurt you the most. I feel that I have accomplished very little but this too is vanity.
My biggest challenge is that I feel I have not helped anyone or made a big impact on anyone’s life and it makes me so anxious and worried and I ask myself what will people say when I leave this world. To me I never concentrate on the schools or jobs people did in the eulogies but I look at what did they do to help, how did they touch or change lives. Did they live a full life? This life is not meant to benefit oneself but to impact more and make things better for yourself and others.
I feel so stuck and not sure of the direction to take but all in all I still believe that my time is coming. In such moments I always remember the song that says “count your blessings name them one by one”. Once I sit down and reflect what the Lord has done then I start to reboot. I have seen people struggle to even smile because they are sick, I have seen single parents trying to give the best to their children even when it is so hard, I have seen children sleep on the streets because they do not have a place to call home and I have even seen the rich torn apart despite having all that wealth.
All in all there is just one thing I can say, when all is dark and gloom always know there is someone who has it worse than you and at times when God wants you to learn something that will propel you to the next level he has to make you pass through fire. Remember that what looks so bad right now is a stepping stone to a better future. Just look back and see what lessons you have learnt from your hardships and you will realize how they have molded your present.
I wish you all well and wake up and show up even when it looks hard. Your destiny is being shaped.

LOW MOMENTS
I realized I write best when I am sincere with what am feeling at that particular moment. My feelings trigger some memories that I feel that I should share and maybe it will reach one or two who need it. I know many people tend to have moments that they feel that the world is against them and nothing is going right. As am writing this I want to say that I am not undermining any situation or making mine look bigger than for others but am just venting so that I can be able to get out of the house and be okay. I normally talk a lot and when I feel I have bottled up too much for one reason or the other I tend to get into a funk that makes me feel so down. Please bear with me as I type because it is my therapy. Thanks for indulging me.
The past few weeks have been rough on me emotionally because I think I tend to want things to happen in a certain way. Things have been falling apart and I feel like everything that I do is not working out. I set goals that don’t seem to come to fruition and this economic situation is adding salt to injury. I feel like a failure in so many aspects of my life, and it has taken a toll on me. I do not have anything that seems to excite me but I try and wake up and move.
I know am blessed and I am not complaining am just venting. I am human and I know there are moments I will be down. I wish I knew how to counter it but I thank God it is only for a season. I have a beautiful family and wonderful parents and siblings and for that I say thank you God. They are a great source of support and they are always there to encourage me. I am in that space of thinking about the future and freaking out. I look at people who are out there and doing what they love and I really envy them. Understanding your strengths and putting them into good use is not something that comes easy for me. I really admire the people who already know their talents and this has been a weight on my shoulder for a while. When I see my friends and friend’s talents and I cannot see mine it weighs me down. I get frustrated when I see someone with such beautiful talent and they are wasting it because for me that is one thing that has never really checked in. There are some I thought I had but I shelved them after I realized that even the ones closest to me did not appreciate them. It is true what they say that it is the ones closest to you that hurt you the most. I feel that I have accomplished very little but this too is vanity.
My biggest challenge is that I feel I have not helped anyone or made a big impact on anyone’s life and it makes me so anxious and worried and I ask myself what will people say when I leave this world. To me I never concentrate on the schools or jobs people did in the eulogies but I look at what did they do to help, how did they touch or change lives. Did they live a full life? This life is not meant to benefit oneself but to impact more and make things better for yourself and others.
I feel so stuck and not sure of the direction to take but all in all I still believe that my time is coming. In such moments I always remember the song that says “count your blessings name them one by one”. Once I sit down and reflect what the Lord has done then I start to reboot. I have seen people struggle to even smile because they are sick, I have seen single parents trying to give the best to their children even when it is so hard, I have seen children sleep on the streets because they do not have a place to call home and I have even seen the rich torn apart despite having all that wealth.
All in all there is just one thing I can say, when all is dark and gloom always know there is someone who has it worse than you and at times when God wants you to learn something that will propel you to the next level he has to make you pass through fire. Remember that what looks so bad right now is a stepping stone to a better future. Just look back and see what lessons you have learnt from your hardships and you will realize how they have molded your present.
I wish you all well and wake up and show up even when it looks hard. Your destiny is being shaped.

EXAM AND OUTCOME
This week has brought back memories of my school days when my biggest worry was how I would pass my exams and how we would play and be dirty because that was a sin,{being dirty I mean} I wonder how you would play and still be clean. This week the KCPE results were announced. They brought about a lot of anxiety and high stress level for the pupils, teachers and parents. It is really a very nerve wrecking experience. I remember during our time technology was not so advanced and we had to go to school and get our grades from the notice board. I vividly remember I could not even move. My stomach was in knots and nausea checked in. I felt sick and the level of anxiety was beyond words.
Parents have super natural strength I tell you. They have to wear the big boy pants and do what you feel like is a mountain. It might be hard for them but they get up and do the hardest of things. My mum woke up got ready and walked to the school to find out my fate. I was a total wreck but fortunately one boy, who had a crush on me went earlier and found out my marks so before mom came I was already aware of my marks. I had done well and I was appreciated so much for it from my family and friends.
I was lucky I was in the group of those who did relatively well and I am forever grateful for the love. Today I feel like we need to get out of that bubble of not appreciating the effort of each and every marks of all the pupils. Children are gifted differently and we need to celebrate them no matter what they get. Some children are good in different aspects like soccer, drama, writing etc. Let’s appreciate the greatness in each child regardless of the marks. The world is evolving and talent is being appreciated more and one can actually earn a living from talent. Primary school is just the beginning, it is not the end of the world and we should not make the ones who did not achieve the 400 mark feel that they are any less. Our children get our genes and that includes the intelligence. When you get a result that you were not expecting because you wanted more look back at yourself and reflect how you were in school. After all the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Some pupils do not fail because they do not know but because they actually got nervous because of the pressure of knowing that this is meant to be life changing, nerves check in and they forget even the simplest of things. I am one such type of a person I get nervous when am being tested am normally not at my best when such pressure is put on me. For me when I feel like it is just normal and no such stress is put on something I thrive.
Any child who reads this and feels that they are less because they did not attain what they hoped for please don’t be too hard on yourself especially if you know you did your level best. This is just the beginning and you will have another opportunity to do better. Parents search yourselves and learn your children. Listen to them and find out what they are good at. Try and bring out their strengths because after all why capitalize on the weaknesses when you can bring the strengths to a whole new light. Let us guide with love and wisdom, be careful how we use our words especially during this season. I wish CBC came way earlier so that your child can specialize in their strength. Words are powerful and have a way of making or breaking a person so choose your words carefully. Congratulations to all the pupils, parents and teachers who went through this process especially after Covid 19 destabilized the world.

TRUTH OF LIFE
It is quite easy to judge someone at face value. People look at you or you look at others and see what you want to see and normally it is not the reality of the person. We normally see the end result or where one is and forget the journey or the process in between. I have not accomplished a lot in life and am not even half way to where I would want to be. I struggle with so much in my life and at times I feel like I want to give up but when I remember the process and where I have come from I pick myself up and move. When I was younger I never used to think that life could knock you down, I never knew stuff like self-doubt and breaking down. I have since learnt that life is as complicated as you want it to be and also as easy as you want it to be. Dreams come and go and it is hard to keep up with the world and yourself. Life can throw you punches and you can have a season where you are down and out.
Rolling with the punches needs a lot of support from loved ones, God and inner will. I have been asked this question so many times “have you ever struggled with life?” My answer is always YES. I laugh a lot and I tend not to show my worries, I keep intimate things inside and I have learnt that not everyone who listens to you wants to help you out of a stressful situation, some just want to use your issues against you, and some laugh at you and others even twist things around. I have had my fair share of challenges and I have had to humble myself and accept where I am at that particular time. I have lost friends because I had to change my lifestyle to suit the situation around me. God has been faithful because while all these has been happening he has shielded me from my enemies.
I have learnt that you have to respect the journey and at times the journey is hard and humiliating. I have experienced the concept from grace to grass but not many people knew it. I have lost things, I have been broken and shattered, I have cried many times feeling like my heart will stop. God has shielded me and given me a smile that will not show my wounds and scars. Everyone has a story and unfortunately it is not written on their foreheads. I have made a mistake of thinking that some of the people I know have never known troubles only to sit down with some and listen to their issues and be in total amazement how they are not bursting at the seams. Learn to check up on friends and family, life can be unfair to them and you can offer a helping hand.
Everyone has their trials no one is exempt. I always say that no matter how small your problem is, as long as it is making you feel uncertain and unhappy it is a problem. No one has a right to make your problem feel small, but on the other side when you hear others talking about their problems then you will know that yours might be a bit better. It has taken me years to master to take a day at a time not to carry everything on my shoulders. It has been a journey of self-discovery. I am not there yet and am not saying that challenges are not there but I try and look at what God has done and tell myself this too shall pass.
Those going through challenges right now, be it financial, emotional, mental or spiritual just know that too will pass. It is always darkest before dawn. It might take a while but when you look back and reflect you will understand what lesson you were learning from the heartache. One thing I learnt from my last employer was patience. The lesson came through a lot of pain and humiliation because I was insulted and undermined to a point of feeling worthless but I now know it was a lesson I needed so that I can be able to handle what I am doing now. If I was not put through that I would not be able to look at my work now in a positive light and have the patience to hang in there because it is not easy either.
Next time you look at someone and think their life is all rosy just take time and ask that question “have you ever been troubled?” You will be surprised at the journey. SOFT LIFE COMES AFTER THE HARD JOURNEY.

He he he he let me begin by sighing. Age is catching up and am those women who dwell in my ‘youth’. Denial is real and I had to actually pray for acceptance. I used to look at our parents and aunts and get shocked by their age. I used to feel like they were old and alas am now that aunt I used to see and in other utterly shuttering news the aunts have stopped ageing....

AGEING GRACEFULLY He he he he let me begin by sighing. Age is catching up and am those women who dwell in my ‘youth’. Denial is real and I had to actually pray for acceptance. I used to look at our parents and aunts…

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