Youth and Community Empowerment Coalition

ATTEN: PARENTS, SCHOOL STAFF, ANYONE WHO WORKS WITH CHILDREN

My son(now 19): I just ran into one of our old counselors from grammar school. Do u see this (referring to the sweat on his forehead)?

Me: Do I see what? Him: The sweat on my forehead

Me: No, I didn’t but why r u sweating?
My son: Anxiety. (Anxiety about what?) I have social anxiety. Talking to that counselor made me anxious.

Me: SON, SINCE WHEN BCUZ U NEVER TOLD ME THIS?

MY son: Since a little kid. That’s why I was a “CLASS CLOWN” in school all the way up to high school too.

Me: IN UTTER SHOCK AND DISBELIEF that I missed this as a parent AND eventually as a Licensed Social Worker. 🤦🏽‍♀️

My son: it’s mainly when dealing with adults especially authority figures .

My son, (all my children) have always had a lot of friends. So, when I think of social anxiety in children, I only would think about their ability to make friends and/or being in social situations with their peers. It NEVER occurred to me that it can ALSO apply to children having social anxiety towards adults UNTIL Bryson just told me this.

I asked him why he never told me this especially when it started when he was younger and he said, because I didn’t know what it was or how to explain it or talk about it. DUHHHHHH, HOW WOULD HE AND HE WAS JUST A CHILD???!!!

I say ALL of this to say, as parents AND people who work with children, we have to ask questions. BUT WE ALSO have to not be so quick to think children are just being “bad” or “acting out” for no reason OR even for reasons we MAY believe are typical reasons.

What I DO KNOW as a Licensed Social Worker IS… that symptoms of anxiety and depression, etc., we NOW KNOW can show up VERY differently for different people in diffrent ways that were typically trained to look out for.

For example, anger issues in boys, men were USUALLY signs of depression. Well, there are girls and women who can have anger issues that can be signs of depression for them too, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are Bipolar or Anti-Social, or Optional.

I would have NEVER thought behavior labeled as being a “class clown” could be signs of anxiety towards authority figures UNTIL my son just told me this. It’s usually thought of happening in children who want to AVOID doing work they don’t know how to do because they are not on grade level.

OBVIOUSLY, we have to DIG DEEPER to make sure we are addressing issues the right way in children, but this can apply in adults too.

JUST WOW!!! I have learned so much from my children over the recent years and I am so proud of them that they can talk to me about stuff like this. I just wish I knew better as a parent when they were younger. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Hope this helps someone.