Adoption Home Studies of Colorado

How to Help Children Calm Down - Child Mind Institute Learn how to help kids calm down before frustration, fear or anger builds into explosive behavior. Emotional regulation is a skill some kids need to be taught.

Join Kandra Hosselkus, our home study and domestic adoption specialist, is co-hosting the upcoming ADOPTION 101 session linked below. Please share!

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THINKING ABOUT ADOPTING A CHILD BUT NOT SURE WHERE TO START?

Start here: Join our experts for ADOPTION 101 -- a live, interactive, virtual Information Session about adopting a child in the US or abroad.

Date: Tuesday, March 17
Time: 5-6:30 PM MST (Colorado)
LIVE Q&A to follow!

Learn about international adoption from India & Bulgaria, the home study differences and process, adopting a baby in the US and key elements of every adoption.

Register by email or phone to receive the zoom link to join. Email
[email protected] or call from anywhere in the US 1-800-982-3778

Presented by Adoption Home Studies of Colorado and International Adoption Net (IAN), a licensed Hague accredited adoption agency since 1999. IAN provides international adoption services to residents throughout the US.

Attachment is a big deal!!! How we were parented and cared for along with our childhood experiences informs our attachment style. Then we grow up, and how we parent our children informs their attachment style. Then they grow up, and how they parent informs our grandchildren’s attachment style (and on and on and on…)

The good news is attachment can change! So making an intentional decision to walk towards your own “earned secure attachment” can have generational impacts.

While this can feel overwhelming it is important to remember that having an insecure style does not mean something is wrong with you. It simply shows the brilliant and beautiful way you adapted to your surroundings and circumstances. Identifying your own attachment patterns can show you the pathway towards earned secure attachment. Doing the processing and work for yourself and your children is a gift! It’s never too late to process your past and the way it impacts your current relationships!

Hot apple cider. The smell of it makes me sick. I especially hate it because it reminds me of the time he poured a cup full down my shirt at church on Christmas Eve. I should have been used to it by then. Not that it mattered, but the punishment never fit the crime.

It's hard for me to talk about with others because they can't see the wounds that were once there all those years ago. They wouldn't be able to tell through my smile & hugs that they are still there, just carried inside of me now. They cause my heart to race & my mood to instantly decline. My fright/flight/freeze response kicks in & I sweat, I worry, I panic; become nauseous, confused, irrational.

Something so small can re-traumatized me all over again & I temporarily lose control.

These effects from my past trauma seem to appear in waves. I often feel like l've conquered it, only to be blindsided when any little thing unknowingly triggers me.

Spilled paint. Bunk beds. Reversible belts. Hot apple cider. These are some of what cause those physiological changes in me for reasons I can't always articulate, but just happen.

Trauma & chaos were all I knew growing up. I was taught to accept it, to burry it, to just get over it & not to ever talk about it. I wasn't listened to. I was never helped. Never able to work towards healing.

But that was a long time ago, before we knew what we do now; that trauma can physically change the brain. There is no excuse today, everyone needs to be aware of the impact trauma has on a child & that the effects from it don't just stop when someone's circumstances change. Healing is such a necessary journey that won't happen overnight, or on its own.

This is the reality of trauma.

-Written by FFY, Jocelyn-



Life Foster Mom

"About a month after taking our daughter home from the hospital I was rocking her to sleep.⁠
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I looked down and saw a message from her birth mother asking me to “please tell her I love her”. ⁠
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I will never forget the feelings that overcame from that little text.⁠..⁠
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Adoption is just as beautiful as it is painful." - Laura, Adoptive Mom⁠
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What does it take to build and nurture an open adoption relationship? That might depend on which member of the constellation you ask. That’s why our upcoming panel will include insights from birth parent, adoptive parent, and adoptee perspectives! Join us as they share their thoughts and answer your questions.

Learn more and register here: https://openadopt.org/resources/events

As an adoption professional and adoptive parent of three, I wanted to share a summary of a book I just completed, called Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schechter, and Robin Marantz Henig

I highly recommend this book for all adoptive parents. I encourage you to pick it up no matter where you are in the journey of adoption.

This book was an exploration of the emotional and psychological journey of adoptees. The book examines how adoption shapes an individual’s identity across their lifespan. It provides insights into the unique challenges adoptees face at different stages of life, from infancy through adulthood, and offers practical advice for supporting them.

Summary
Infancy and Early Childhood:
Adoptees may experience a sense of loss and separation from their birth parents, which can manifest even at a preverbal level. This primal loss can affect attachment and trust in relationships, particularly with adoptive parents. The authors emphasize the vital role adoptive parents play in fostering a sense of security and belonging, which serves as the foundation for healthy emotional development.

Middle Childhood:
As children grow and their cognitive abilities mature, they begin to grasp the concept of adoption. This understanding often leads to feelings of being different and prompts questions about their biological origins, and question adoption. Children may experience confusion or struggle with the reasons behind their placement for adoption. Their grief and loss may begin to manifest. Addressing these questions openly and supportively is critical to helping children navigate this stage.

Adolescence:
All adolescents seek identity formation, but this process is further complicated by unresolved questions about their origins and heritage. Emotional struggles, including feelings of abandonment and low self-esteem, are common during this stage. Additionally, adoptees may grapple with loyalty conflicts between their adoptive and biological families. It is critically important to provide adoptees with the space and support to explore their identities and grief and loss.

Adulthood:
In adulthood, adoptees often revisit their adoption story in a deeper level, particularly during significant life events such as marriage or parenthood. These milestones may prompt a renewed search for answers about their birth family or an intensified desire to integrate their adoptive and biological histories. The search for self-identity is a lifelong journey for adoptees.

The Lifelong Impact of Adoption:
The central theme of the book is that adoption shapes an individual’s identity across their entire life. This was not new to me but is a good reminder. Adoptees must continuously adapt and reinterpret their experiences in light of changing circumstances and personal growth. Understanding and addressing these ongoing challenges is crucial for their emotional well-being.

Infancy and Early Childhood:
• Adoptees may experience a primal sense of loss and separation from their birth parents, which can influence attachment and trust in adoptive relationships.
• Adoptive parents play a critical role in fostering security and belonging.

Middle Childhood:
• Children begin to understand the concept of adoption and may struggle with feelings of being different.
• Questions about birth parents and their reasons for placement often arise, prompting curiosity and sometimes confusion.

Adolescence:
• Adolescents grapple with identity formation, independence, and loyalty. For adoptees, these tasks are further complicated by unresolved questions about their origins and heritage.
• Emotional struggles, such as feelings of abandonment or low self-esteem, may surface.

Adulthood:
• As adoptees navigate milestones such as marriage and parenthood, they may revisit their adoption narrative and seek answers about their birth family.
• The search for self-identity remains ongoing, as adoptees work to integrate their adoptive and biological histories.
The Lifelong Impact of Adoption:
• Adoption shapes identity throughout life, requiring adoptees to continuously adapt and reinterpret their experiences.