El Paso, Texas—Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

Why We First Came to ACA: Our decisions and answers to life did not seem to work. Our lives had become unmanageable. We exhausted all the ways we thought we could become happy.

We often lost our creativity, our flexibility, and our sense of humor. Continuing the same existence was no longer an option. Nevertheless, we found it almost impossible to abandon the thought of being able to fix ourselves.

Exhausted, we held out hope that a new relationship, a new job, or a move would be the cure, but it never was. We made the decision to seek help.

The solution is to become your own loving parent. As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. -page 590 ACA Big Red Book

This is your personal invitation to come to ACA and to keep coming back. Your presence in meetings helps us in our recovery.

Our ACA Meditation of the Day
September 22

Step One
"We run about attempting to control others and situations in an effort to avoid our own unmanageable lives." BRB p. 104

The need to try to control the people and things around us can be so strong. We may have this idea in our minds about how things "should" be. If only life were a certain way, we could feel good about ourselves. So we feel compelled to make the "should" a reality.

We push and prod and manipulate to try to get others to do what we want, completely missing the fact that we have to clean up our own house first. In the meantime, the harder we push, the crazier we feel because others never quite measure up to our ideals.

Step One tells us that control over others is a myth. Even though some things may change as a result of our efforts, we leave a lot of wreckage in our wake. Until we realize our powerlessness, until we realize the only ones we can truly change are ourselves, we will continue on a downward spiral, often driving the ones we care about from our lives, whether that happens emotionally, physically or both. It's a paradox of this program that only by admitting our powerlessness can we gain true manageability in our lives.

On this day I will remember to focus on myself and the changes I can make in my own life. I let others be so they can find their own path, even if it isn't the one I would choose for them.

Am I an Adult Child?