10/26/2026
🎃👻 GOOOOOOD MORNINGGGGG, FAYYYETTEVILLEEEE!!! 👻🎃
BOOOOOOOOOOO! 👻
Oh, don’t act scared NOW. 😭😂
Because BABYYYYY, it’s officially HALLOWEEN WEEK, and things are about to get SPOOKYYYYY around here! 🎃🕸️
First of all…
Can somebody explain how we’re already at the END of October?!
Because I swear we were JUST complaining about the heat, and now everybody’s front porch looks like a Spirit Halloween exploded. 💀😂
And speaking of scary things…
You know what’s REALLY terrifying?
👻 A ghost? Nope.
🧛 A vampire? Absolutely not.
🕷️ A spider crawling across your windshield? Okay, actually, that one’s pretty bad.
BUT SOMEBODY CHANGING LANES WITHOUT A TURN SIGNAL?!
NOW THAT’S A HORROR MOVIE. 😭💀
At this point, I’m convinced some of y’all are saving your blinkers for a special occasion.
BABY, WHAT OCCASION?!
THEY CAME WITH THE CAR. USE THEM. 😂
ANYWAYYYYY…
Let’s talk about HALLOWEEN because I KNOW FAYYYETTEVILLEEEE is getting ready!
🎃 Pumpkins are being carved.
🍬 Candy bowls are being filled. (And mysteriously emptied before Halloween even gets here. 👀)
🧙 Costumes are being planned.
👻 And somebody is about to spend $87 on a costume their child will wear for approximately 43 minutes.
PARENTING IS NOT FOR THE WEAK. 😭😂
And can we PLEASE discuss the adults who buy Halloween candy early?!
Because you bought that 150-piece variety pack on October 10th, and now you’re standing in Walmart buying another one.
THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, BESTIE. 🍫💀
But while we’re getting ready for all the spooky festivities, your favorite mystery employee has a few reminders!
🚸 WATCH FOR THE LITTLE GHOSTS AND GOBLINS! Halloween means more children and families walking through neighborhoods. Slow down, especially around residential streets and crosswalks.
🔦 BE SEEN, NOT SPOOKED! Parents, add reflective tape or glow sticks to those costumes and carry flashlights when trick-or-treating after dark.
🍬 CHECK THAT CANDY! Parents and guardians, take a look through your little one’s treats before they start their annual sugar marathon.
🚗 SLOW DOWNNNN! Whether you’re heading to a Halloween party, trunk-or-treat, or just making your way home, leave yourself extra time.
📵 PUT THE PHONE DOWN! The group chat can wait. Your attention belongs on the road.
🎉 CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY! If your Halloween plans include alcohol, arrange a sober ride. The only thing we want getting arrested this weekend is your attention when you see somebody’s AMAZING costume. 😂
And PLEASEEEEE…
If you see a tiny dinosaur, princess, superhero, or inflatable chicken trying to cross the street…
LET THEM CROSS.
They’ve got important candy business to handle. 😭🍬
Now, before I go…
I KNOW some of y’all are STILL trying to figure out who’s behind these morning posts. 👀
And since it’s Halloween week, I figured I’d give you another clue…
BOO! STILL NOT CHIEF PETTI. 👻😭😂
At this point, I might just dress up as myself for Halloween.
NOBODY WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. 😌💀
But seriously, FAYYYETTEVILLEEEE…
Whether you’re taking the kiddos trick-or-treating, attending a Halloween event, handing out candy, or staying home watching scary movies, let’s make sure everybody has a SAFE and FUN Halloween week! 🧡
And remember…
Ghosts are supposed to be unpredictable.
YOUR DRIVING IS NOT. 🚗👻😂
HAVE A SPOOKTACULAR MONDAYYYYY, FAYYYETTEVILLEEEE!!! 🎃👻🕸️🚔💙
XOXO, YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD RADIO REBEL. 🎤👀