Ben has too much time on his hands

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Ben has too much time on his hands If you’re here it’s because you don’t take things so seriously that you forget to laugh.
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Since it’s Sunday, I have a confession. I bought a box of 100 unicorn capybaras by accident. Or actually I’m not sure wh...
10/25/2026

Since it’s Sunday, I have a confession. I bought a box of 100 unicorn capybaras by accident. Or actually I’m not sure what they are. Anyway, I didn’t want to throw them away so I did what any normal person does and I now put them all over town.

Some people have their little Jesus figurine they put everywhere, I have unicorn capybaras. So if you spot one on the wild, snap a pic and send it to me please.

Let’s see if any of you can say where I put this one.

Yesterday wife forced me to go to the Emergency Room just because my chest was hurting/tightening and my arm was going n...
10/24/2026

Yesterday wife forced me to go to the Emergency Room just because my chest was hurting/tightening and my arm was going numb. I didn’t think it was a big deal but her and the staff at Conway Regional did. After tons of tests and them stealing my blood, turns out I’ll live.

After the ER trip, a celebration pizza was needed. Papa Johns in Conway does a thin crust pizza that looks like a pumpkin. As always, the people at that store were amazing.

So if you see me around town today and notice I’m moving a little slower it’s only because I’m down 2 quarts of blood. Oh and all those sticky pads they put on a person really don’t come off easily. I got bald patches on my chest now. Looking like a botched wax job.

Help me ruin his day. In fact, I hope we drive him to massive tears. Here’s the thing. In the past I always supported Sa...
10/23/2026

Help me ruin his day. In fact, I hope we drive him to massive tears. Here’s the thing.

In the past I always supported Salty Dalty's BBQ. Many times I was there up to an hour before he even opened to ensure that “Robert” guy wouldn’t beat me to the window and buy everything. Yes his BBQ is mind blowing and yes he is I guess a fairly good human but I now have beef with him.

I can’t prove it but somebody from his family is talking to my family and that’s why Dalton does all his special menu items on only the days when I’m traveling. So here’s what I propose we do. Apparently he’s in the running for some gluttony award. Here’s the link https://www.arkansasheritage.com/arkansas-food-hall-of-fame/peoples-choice-nomination

I need you to first go try his food and then go vote for him. He’s very dedicated and passionate about his BBQ and when he wins he’s 1,000% gonna cry. Oh and I stole the pictures from a post his wife made. I’ve been asked by Dalton to never ever post my own photos of his food. My wife agreed. Apparently I take the “worst food photos known to man”.

Buckle up for safety!!!That P3 from Pho Huyen should be treated with care. Ignore my make up bag. I hat to get non scary...
10/22/2026

Buckle up for safety!!!

That P3 from Pho Huyen should be treated with care.

Ignore my make up bag. I hat to get non scary before going in public.

10/21/2026

Free apple butter biscuits at The Pest Detective for the next hour or so or until I eat them all.

Wifey is still recovering from the plague. Tonight while practicing our “16 years of marriage pillow talk” she says “I’m...
10/21/2026

Wifey is still recovering from the plague. Tonight while practicing our “16 years of marriage pillow talk” she says “I’m feeling better. I took a hot
Bath full of Mexican herbs”. To which I replied “like Fajita seasoning”? She almost choked on her hot tea.

Some people think it’s a good idea for me to have their cellphone number. That is until I send them a message like this ...
10/20/2026

Some people think it’s a good idea for me to have their cellphone number. That is until I send them a message like this and they realize that I know where they work.

I’m not saying what’s gonna happen but all I’m saying is that The Pest Detective should be terrified of my “fun idea” that might or might not happen tomorrow between the hours of 11 and until the cops show up. You might want to avoid driving through that area. There will be gluttony, a megaphone and chaos involved.

Conway Police Department at least give me a running start before you deploy tasers. BTW, It’ll take more than one since I’m a big back. This is all because TPD did such an amazing job getting rid of my ant problem. Sure a thank you card is nice but this’ll be a little more than that. It’s their fault for being so good at what they do.

Entire family was a little sick this weekend. So I thought I’d make us some French onion soup. I wept openly for about h...
10/19/2026

Entire family was a little sick this weekend. So I thought I’d make us some French onion soup. I wept openly for about half an hour. Soup came out pretty good but nowhere near as good as the French onion soup at RŌBER :: Cocktails + Culinary. Their soup is made with unicorn magic and stirred by the angels as they sing to the flavors. Sadly they were closed so I had to try. Not a complete fail.

I think I’m gonna take this weekend as a “Mental Health Weekend”. Might even get out and chop some wood. If you hear the...
10/17/2026

I think I’m gonna take this weekend as a “Mental Health Weekend”. Might even get out and chop some wood. If you hear the sirens of an ambulance, it’s most likely for me. I probably hit my shin with the sledgehammer.

Be safe out there folks and have a great weekend.

Normally I don’t post about chain restaurants but Panda Express tonight didn’t suck. It wasn’t super fresh but it was mo...
10/16/2026

Normally I don’t post about chain restaurants but Panda Express tonight didn’t suck. It wasn’t super fresh but it was more than edible and for under $13 for 3 meat options and a veggie or noodles, the food was worth it for the money.

I know everyone’s all about “support your local mom and pops restaurants” but in all honesty many of those places have served my family and your family some nasty food for prices that are well above $13 for the top end plate. So I say we all eat and support the business we want and if the local restaurant closes then their food or customer service probably sucked.

I’ve never heard someone say “Wow that food was delicious and service was great. Let’s never go back there again”. So thank you Panda Express for being mediocre towards decent tonight and for not charging an arm and a leg for your food. #

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Frisco, TX
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