Lifetree Cafe at Mandarin Senior Center - jax Fl

Is there really a way to fight "Fair"? How? Join us at Mandarin senior center, Tuesday, Apr 5 at 1:00PM as we discuss that question. See more at LTCJAX.COM https://youtu.be/FXT00pB3bdE

Trailer I Disagree Is it possible to fight "Fair"? How? We'll talk about that and more.

All further Lifetee Cafe posts can be found at Facebook.com/ltcjax

Watch that page for information about Lifetree Cafe relaunch in Jacksonville.

Lifetree Cafe JAX We are a social group that gathers weekly to share thoughts and doubts about a weekly topic of life and faith. Share if you want, or just listen if you prefer. Meet new people, build friendships all while learning more about people, places and things.

An attitude that is prevalent in our country is the "No Thanks"attitude. This attitude exhibits a spirit of ingratitude. It is never grateful to God, nor content with his blessings! It always wants more, is never content, and complains! Psalm 106 warns against the spirit of ingratitude and encourages people to praise God for his goodness. If we remember who God is, what he has done for us, and what he will do for us, then we can say, "No" to the "No Thanks" attitude. Pastor Pat

Join us on an investigation of a lifetime! https://hopelutheranjax.360unite.com/case-for-christ

Christmas news for our Lifetree Cafe Friends.

As we enter this Christmas Season and reflect on our blessings, Bev & I remember fondly the many friends we have had the privilege of connecting with over the years. We miss you and our weekly opportunities to connect in ways so often not available in our day to day lives.

We have set aside some times where we can all get together on-line and catch up with those who would like to do the same. We’d love it if you could join us at one, or all of them. We will be using the “Zoom” on-line meeting app which is available free on Apple iPhone/iPad, Android phones/notepads, and Windows computers. (Windows computers will need an attached we**am w/microphone). See the end of this email for instruction on how to get “Zoom”.

You are welcome to join us anytime during any of the scheduled meetings as your time permits. Meetings will be held on:

Tuesday, Dec 15 at 2:00PM and again at 6:30PMDuring this meeting, we will use about 45 minutes to “catch up”, and then follow with a Lifetree video that presents a modern day “Prodigal Son” set on Christmas Eve in a taxi.Following the video, there will be the usual time for you to share your thoughts.

Tuesday, Dec 15 at 4:PM and again at 8:30PM – During this meeting we will see the video “The Shepherd”, the story of Jesus birth as seen through the eyes of the shepherds. This touching video sparked production of “The Chosen”, an acclaimed multi-season series about Jesus’ ministry as seen by the people around him.Following the 20 minute video, we will have time to discuss our thoughts.

Thursday, Dec 17 at 1:00PM and again at 6:30PMDuring this meeting, we will use about 45 minutes to “catch up”, and then follow with a Lifetree video that presents a modern day “Prodigal Son” set on Christmas Eve in a taxi.Following the video, there will be the usual time for you to share your thoughts.

Thursday, Dec 17 at 3:PM and again at 8:30PM – During this meeting we will see the video “The Shepherd”, the story of Jesus birth as seen through the eyes of the shepherds. This touching video sparked production of “The Chosen”, an acclaimed multi-season series about Jesus’ ministry as seen by the people around him.Following the 20 minute video, we will have time to discuss our thoughts.

This will take you to each of our meetings. Save it where you will be able to find it: https://zoom.us/j/9525243662?pwd=MWJEb0RXTkR3Nyt1cUdpS3VRUzVjQT09

If you don’t already have Zoom installed on your device, it will be installed when you click on the above link. We suggest that you install Zoom before the meeting to allow time for the install process. You can also go to the Download Center - Zoom. Scroll thru the list to find the device you are using, download and install the appropriate version.

We look forward to your participation

Your Lifetree Café Hosts
George & Bev Treiber
[email protected]
(904) 731-0731 (leave a message & we’ll call you back)

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Conflict and fights are part of life—there’s no avoiding them. And every fight has the potential to be fair... or dirty. It all depends on how those involved behave. Are you a fair fighter...or a dirty fighter?

Dirty Fighters...

..dredge up past mistakes or other issues. They muddy the water by tossing in everything they’re mad about at one time, shifting between issues.

..assume they know others' thoughts and motivations. They attack based on what they think is meant, not what’s been said. They don’t ask what others think and feel—and then listen.

..use absolutes. Is it true she never listens? He always exaggerates? Absolutes are seldom accurate and often put people on the defensive.

..shout or use rude language. Volume and tone matter—as do the actual words used. Dirty fighters indulge in name calling...swearing...and rants.

..let body language scream. They roll their eyes. Smirk. Sigh as they check their watches. Use sarcasm. They signal disrespect.

..fight when they (or others) are tired. Or hungry. Or overly angry. Or pressured for time. Dirty fighters don’t consider whether others are ready to fight.

..debate details. Dirty fighters focus on the details of a perceived transgression rather than the larger picture of why they’re upset.

..walk away without saying when they'll be back. Taking a cool-down period can be helpful, but dirty fighters stalk off without negotiating a time when they’ll be back to finish the fight.

..win at all costs. Winning the argument seems to matter more than preserving the relationship.
Fair Fighters...

..take responsibility. They own their contribution to the conflict, using “I” statements rather than only talking about what others have done. “You” is a word that points fingers. Using the word “I” shows ownership.

..are honest about their thoughts and feelings. They’re kind—but clear. They don’t expect others to read their minds or accurately guess their feelings.

..listen. Really listen. They summarize what they’ve heard to be sure they’ve got it right—and so others know they’ve been heard. They make sure everyone involved has time to share points of view.

..discuss problems, not people. They focus on the problem to be solved, not what’s wrong with the people involved.
..deal with conflict promptly. They don’t let small things become bigger with time.

..set a time limit. If they can’t settle an issue in 30 minutes, they work to schedule a time for round two.

..tackle conflict as a team. They work to get a clear definition of what the problem is—and don’t move forward until there’s agreement on that point and a willingness of all involved to move toward a solution.

..think “win-win.” They look for solutions, not someone to blame. They compromise where they can, and give a little to get a little.

..invite God to help—both to reach a solution and for relationships to be strengthened.

(The content above has been extracted from the Lifetree Cafe episode entitled: "Conquering Conflict")

3 weeks of being sequestered in your home with family members could highlight more than a few difficulties. Often those difficulties erupt into disagreements and then escalate into full fledged fights. “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21) If your “togetherness” is getting a bit testy, there are ways to disagree without permanently damaging your relationships.

Learning to fight fair is worth the effort.

Fair fights are good fights—they let us be ourselves and speak the truth as we see it, clear the air, shed light on situations, and make relationships stronger.

Qualities of a Good Fight

A good fight—one that’s healthy and brings combatants closer together—includes these four essentials...

Cooperation
When everyone involved wants resolution and is willing to work together to find an answer, a win-win solution is possible. But when someone won’t cooperate, fights tend to drag on...and on.

Ownership
Blaming others for the conflict turns us into victims. Better: Have the courage to take responsibility for your feelings and admit openly what you’ve done to contribute to the disagreement.

Respect
Respect builds safety within relationships, letting everyone risk being open and truthful. Belittling comments, eye-rolling, and sarcasm shut down communication...and solutions.

Empathy
Research indicates 90 percent of marital spats can be resolved if couples will see issues from each other’s perspective

(The above extracted from a recent Lifetree Cafe episode's handout. We think it is particularly appropriate during this time of struggle).