Northport News Network

Northport News Network Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Northport News Network, Government Organization, Northport, AL.

The Northport News Network is an amateur team of unsophisticated journalists committed to bringing you the latest breaking news, BS, satire, facts and fiction that you may or may not need to know or care about.

Breaking news from nnn.  The NNN has uncovered a secret city council meeting that was held in the early morning hours th...
11/02/2026

Breaking news from nnn. The NNN has uncovered a secret city council meeting that was held in the early morning hours this morning. Council woman d***s who wished to speak anonymously told the NNN that Monday all Northportian Trick r treaters will be required to report to the city hall to pay a 2% tax on all Halloween candy the children have received. D***s who asked to speak on anonymity also told the NNN that she will personally accept bribes and alcohol in lieu of the 2% tax. Stay with the NNN for more info.

The N.N.N has just been sent a breaking press release.  The City of Northport would like to recognize the 2 percenters. ...
10/28/2026

The N.N.N has just been sent a breaking press release. The City of Northport would like to recognize the 2 percenters. Also, the City of Northport is proud to recognize Down Syndrome Awareness

Halloween Travel Tips from the Northport News Network Looking to scare the family this Halloween? No need to drive to Ca...
10/15/2026

Halloween Travel Tips from the Northport News Network

Looking to scare the family this Halloween? No need to drive to Carrollton Alabama to view the face in the courthouse window, just drive to the Northport City Hall. Happy Halloween everyone

Use discount code to receive 4.2 % off your next purchase at Spirit Halloween

Late breaking news from the N.N.NHo Lee-F*k technologies DBA Church’s Chicken LLC set to make major announcement tomorro...
09/22/2026

Late breaking news from the N.N.N

Ho Lee-F*k technologies DBA Church’s Chicken LLC set to make major announcement tomorrow regarding bank partnership to be located in Data Center as City of Nport is set to make major announcement on er****on of Native American Statue “Spread Eagle”.
Northport leader who wished to remain anonymous would not disclose any details of the announcement but did release this photo to the Northport News Network.
Stay with the N.N.N for breaking details regarding this major Data Center announcement tomorrow

Late Breaking News from the Northport News Network.  This evening, the Northport City Council held a secret meeting and ...
09/17/2026

Late Breaking News from the Northport News Network.

This evening, the Northport City Council held a secret meeting and transferred ownership of the Northport City Hall property to Ho-Lee F*k Technologies LLC, DBA Church’s Chicken .

A high ranking Northport official who wished to speak anonymously had this to say

“We believe Northport needs a place for residents to store data and also enjoy chicken”. The Northport News Network also interviewed a spokesperson from Ho-Lee F*k technologies but was unable to understand a damn thing he said. Stay with the N.N.N for late breaking details on this exciting project

As City of Tuscaloosa prepares to display statue of Chief Tuskaloosa, the City of Northport prepares to erect statue of ...
09/12/2026

As City of Tuscaloosa prepares to display statue of Chief Tuskaloosa, the City of Northport prepares to erect statue of famous Native American “Spread Eagle”. Artist rendering to depict statue of future er****on to be located at the Northport Community Center.

Detour Ahead!  The city of Northport will be bankrupt soon, please take an alternate route
08/12/2026

Detour Ahead! The city of Northport will be bankrupt soon, please take an alternate route

City of Northport to hold weekly auditions for Shart Tank. Shart Tank is very similar to Shark Tank where anyone with an...
06/29/2026

City of Northport to hold weekly auditions for Shart Tank. Shart Tank is very similar to Shark Tank where anyone with an idea, a recipe or concept is welcome to come pitch their ideas to the judges!
Shart Tank will begin this Wednesday evening at 5:30 PM inside the Northport City Hall. If you are making plans to be cast on Shart Tank bring good vibes and cash bribes!

While both may be pronounced by many southerners to sound the same, the N.N.N would like to remind our followers of the ...
06/21/2026

While both may be pronounced by many southerners to sound the same, the N.N.N would like to remind our followers of the true enunciation and significance of each photo.

The first photo depicts a MARE (rhymes with hair or Air) and refers to a female horse used for breeding, equestrian sports and is often found to be very useful for herd leadership.

The second image depicts a Mayor and the proper way to say this is May-Ur. A mayor is the chief executive officer of a municipality, responsible for overseeing daily city operations, managing the municipal budget, and enforcing local ordinances.

One of these photos indicates a person with more authority, power, influence and ability to lead than the other.

While this post is in no way meant to discredit or show disrespect to Mayor Phillips it is meant to show the current structure and power you think your vote may or may not have and who is truly in control.

If you do not like the current situations in Northport, do some research and when you see Mayor MAY-UR Phillips please thank him for representing for being elected to an honorary position (a position that does pay a small salary albeit) but a position of responsibility and leadership of which he has no true authority or oversight and control over.

Success of a city is not measured by tomorrow or next year, but in its planning and ability over the next 25-50 years to have the infrastructure and resources to plan big for the future. Does it make sense for the City of Tuscaloosa to own and control the Airport in Northport (maybe for financial reasons now, but what if that situation had been different many years ago and today I was referred to as Northport Airport). Does it make sense for the City of Tuscaloosa to own and control Lake Tuscaloosa and when you need building permits etc you have to cross the bridge into the City of Tuscaloosa to deal with folks you don’t even know or elected to beg for permits etc (again, perhaps financially there are reasons the City of Northport cannot control it). If we do not plan for the next 25-50 years NOW instead of only thinking about tomorrow or next year what will the City of Tuscaloosa control next? My guess will be restaurants, resorts and all retail taxes in what will be formerly known as Northport.

While these are opinions they in no way reflect the opinions of the N.N.N

06/21/2026

District 4 continues to grow. Come on out and celebrate the first annual bike rally at the new parts store and mavis tire coming soon

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