10/03/2026
One of my children recently got a text from their biological parent. Here's what it said…
"I'm not really your dad. I never wanted you and nothing has changed. You were never part of my plan and you never will be. I don't feel any love for you, and honestly I never have. You're a reminder of things I try to forget. I don't want you reaching out to me, showing up, or trying to be a part of my life. I have no interest in you, your problems, or anything about you. I don't care how this makes you feel because I've moved on and I don't need you in my life. Do not contact me again. I want nothing to do with you."
A child read that.
In the child abuse arena, we hear the same slogans repeated over and over as if they are sacred text:
"Reunification is always the preferred outcome."
"Keeping families together is the first and best option."
"The goal is ALWAYS reunification."
I've fostered 10 children and adopted four. I've nursed broken bones, and tried to heal broken hearts. This work isn’t theoretical…
This work is my children.
Some people are just NOT fit to be parents. Some people do not want to be parents. Sometimes children need new families. Saying so is not anti-family. It's pro-child.
At the Center for the Rights of Abused Children, we'll keep saying it: the needs of the child come first.
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