Life Calibrations Counseling

People I see sometimes have a hard time with identity. They question, struggle, try on labels. Sometimes they know exactly who they are but struggle showing others safely. Some have support, some don’t. Some like who they are some haven’t embraced themselves yet. Some suffer when they don’t have to. Everyone deserves a safe place for all of this. Parents need a safe place too; to know how to adjust, support, and embrace. Celebrate pride this month by talking to your loved ones about what kind of support they might need and point them in the right direction. We are a practice that is a safe zone!

It can take some time to unlearn feeling selfish for self care time. If you need some help unpacking this one we are here for you!

Whether I work with the teen or parent or both the goal is to support more positive relationship through a time of major neurological growth and self discovery. A deeper understanding of each other can be the healing factor to relationships that have gone astray. What do you think teens today wish we would understand about their experience in this current environment?

Teaching empathy, improving relationships KU study finds empathy training improves mother-parent relationships, life satisfaction

It is one thing to know that we aren’t getting what we need from those around us. It is a whole other thing to set boundaries, speak up for ourselves, ask for what we need, and not just silently live with less than what we deserve. It takes intention and skill and support to break up with the idea of accepting less and knowing how to change it. Don’t settle for the crap! 💩

This is so perfect! I spent so many years procrastinating! I had a boss once who asked me to make a call for them. I felt a bit shy about it so I wrote it on my list and was planning to “do it later”. They called me out kindly and said “you have time why don’t you just do it now instead of writing it down.” It had never dawned on me to just immediately pick up the phone without putting it off first. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Thankfully now I have the skills to keep procrastination from creating ridiculous amounts of anxiety on a regular basis. How many can relate?!

Self compassion is the beginning of healing. Getting rid of the expectation that you will be perfect and stop judging your past self for needing to grow and learn to get you to where you are now.

Welcome to our newest therapist Karla Pantoja, LCSW!!! Karla joins us as a telehealth therapist and has immediate openings to serve teens and adults who live anywhere in California! Check out our newly updated website for more information about Karla and our growing team!
Www.lifecalibrations.com

Life Calibrations Counseling and Consulting/Sacramento/Therapy Rebecca "Becky" O'Toole, LCSW and the Life Calibrations therapist team offer individualized treatment for children, families, and individuals in office in Sacramento, CA and via Telehealth.

Body safety and child abuse prevention is something we all can teach in the everyday moments. You don’t have to be a therapist to speak up about abuse and foster resilience. Be clear and straightforward. If adults are ok talking about the hard things then kids will be too.

Simone Biles came on the TV screen.

My husband commented to our girls - “She’s the world’s greatest gymnast”.

I added, “and she’s really brave”.

My 5yo looked at me and asked, “why?”

So I told her.

“Because the American gymnasts used to have a team doctor, who turned out to be a tricky person. He was touching the girls’ private parts. For the girls it was so scary to tell anyone. They didn’t know if anyone would believe them and they were scared they’d lose their spot on the team.

But Simone Biles was one of the girls who spoke up and said what had been happening, and now that tricky doctor is in jail”.

I could see she was still listening, so I added,
“And now, she’s got her own Gymnastics centre, where they make sure the kids are all safe, where their parents can easily watch over them, and they are spoken to kindly instead of being yelled at, which is what lots of coaches do, but it’s not ok”.

My daughter didn’t respond.

She got out of her chair, and watched every moment of Simone Biles’ routine.

⬆️ Teachable moments about body safety and children’s rights are everywhere.

Take them.

(Photo from the Team USA Instagram page, Getty Images).

** Editing to add: please know that this post was never intended as a history lesson. I’ve written word for word what I said to my 5yo - I did my best to simplify the story for her, and I represented that here.

Simone Biles was not the first athlete to speak out, she spoke out later - I don’t think this makes her less brave. People go through their own journeys and speak up in their own time. She has kept showing up. She has pressed for change. All of this is brave beyond measure.

If you haven’t heard the story, or want more information, please watch the documentary Athlete A. Or just Google it. You can find all the details just about everywhere.

The response to this post has been overwhelming.

I hope the key point was clear: Seize the moments to talk to your kids. Be open. There are age-appropriate ways to talk about everything. They are ready for more than you think.