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Bearwood Parish Council

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Bearwood Parish Council, UK
For the people, By the people, In the people. Not in Birmingham.

30/10/2026

Despite rumours, Stourbridge rock band The Poppies (or to give them their formal name: Pop Will Eat Itself) have not been banned from Wetherspoons, despite their best efforts.

30/10/2026

Bearwood is reputedly a rather haunted place. Its location on the Bellinus Line (also known as The Spine of Albion) means that supernatural energy is particularly strong in the area. Ahead of Halloween we've put together this useful identification guide to help you spot some of the paranormal entities commonly encountered in Bearwood:

29/10/2026

Today, West Midlands Mayor Richard Parker announced that West Midlands Buses had successfully completed their first trial of flying buses on the Outer Circle route. The innovative technology, which uses cold-gas thrusters, is expected to help tackle delays caused by the heavy traffic that regularly affects sections of the route.

The introduction of flying no.11s is also predicted to reduce the incidents of bus wheel theft that often happens, particularly in the Erdington area.

29/10/2026

Are you a local cat? 🐈

Would you like to know what days the bins go out so you can nab a nice snoozing spot?

Well, you are in luck because a clever local 'binfluencer' with some natty web skillz has created 'Bin Cat' - a website so you can easily check which bins go out when!

Link in comments.

28/10/2026

A shaming procession will take place along Bearwood High Street later today, after it was discovered that one of our officers had included the banned phrase 'Preppy Dooms' in our official council stockpiling advice pamphlet.

Warning: anyone heard referring to the procession as a 'Shamey Sesh' will be similarly punished.

25/10/2026

The Bearwood Road Irregulars (pictured) act as Bearwood Council's intelligence network. They are employed to run errands, track down information and retrieve rare artefacts for us.

If you'd like to join, please submit an application form detailing your past espionage experience, and what it taught you about B2B sales.

25/10/2026

We hope this won't cause any undue distress, but it appears that during the overnight storm some units of time have blown into Bearwood.

We only discovered the temporal anomaly when we checked our sundial this morning. Obviously this has put us all off-kilter.

We will check with surrounding areas, such as Quinton and West Bromwich to see if they are missing any minutes, and will strive to return the time once its owner is identified.

We've checked with Tamworth and District Civic Society and they report that overnight Tamworth has lost 1147 years, meaning it is now effectively 879CE there. As yet no local residents have noticed.

24/10/2026

And now, the Shipping Bulletin for the Gulf of Bearwood (Edgbaston Reservoir), issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Bearwood Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 13:41 on Saturday 24th October. Sponsored by Neelam's Kebab House:

Titford, Rotton, Selwyn, Portway: Easterly 4 to 6 preening southerly or downeasterly 7 to severe Gail Platt 9, occasionally storm 10 later. Moderate or rough, becoming brown trouser later. Rain or showers. Moderate or good, occasionally disappointing.

Do***ng: Southerly thrusting northwards occasionally, moderate or rough. Visibility good becoming misted later.

Finally, Belle Vue, Icknield Bight, Tower: Northwest 6 to gale 8 backing south or Kanyewest 7 to severe Gail Platt 9, occasionally storm 10 later in Tower. Rough or very rough, occasionally boring. Rain or showers. Moderate or good, becoming increasingly desperate.

And that completes the Shipping Bulletin.

24/10/2026

Due to the threat of severe weather and cyber attacks we recommend that residents stockpile the following critical supplies 👇

21/10/2026

Statement:
Bearwood Council categorically deny any involvement in this reported incident in nearby Brownhills. The bear pictured, isn't one of our (real) released bears, as our experts have confirmed the image actually shows a person in a bear costume (albeit a very realistic one). We hope the dog is returned safely soon.

*edit* it has since come to light that the post was a hoax by the original poster. No dog was napped.

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Bearwood Autonomous Oblast
Birmingham

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