27/10/2026
Some call it ‘high standards’, others call it toxic perfectionism.
Perfectionism at work is a common manifestation of complex relational trauma and shows up for many adult children of narcissists, alcoholics and emotionally immature parents. Processing shame and building shame resilience is a must for anyone pursuing people management and leadership.
Unconscious, shame-fuelled perfectionism isn’t just a prison for the person carrying it, it spills out onto everyone in their presence.
It shows up as;
👻 Fear of failure and being ‘found out’ or ‘sacked’.
👻 Fear of making mistakes and intense emotional reactions when they do make a mistake.
👻 Unspoken contracts for overworking, burnout and ‘going the extra mile’.
👻 Need for external validation with company awards, accolades and public shout outs.
👻 Zero tolerance for messy humanness or real life challenges.
👻 Inability to calmly receive feedback or criticism.
👻 The need for other people to soothe them when feeling scared, overwhelmed or inadequate.
👻 Inability to ask for help, be vulnerable or delegate work to others.
Take it from Co-Founders Jess Frost - 5* Self Reclamation Coach & Guide 🐦🔥🔥 and Nick Edgar - Men’s Self-Leadership Coach who have had to heal from unhealthy perfectionism themselves. Healing and building shame resilience is something that doesn’t just support your personal and professional life, but it has a profound ripple effect on those around you.
Looking for a trauma-informed coach that can help you break free from the shackles of perfectionism and step into your healthiest leadership skills? Apply to work with our coaches now by commenting COACH or head to the links in our bios.
