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03/11/2026

🚨 BREAKING: GACHAGUA: “THREE OF US ARE ENOUGH!” MATIANG’I: “YOUR PRIDE WILL SPLIT US!

The opposition hasn’t picked a flagbearer, but it has already picked a government of three!

Gachagua says he, Kalonzo and Sifuna are enough to form government and everyone else is “free to join.” Matiang’i fired back on NTV: your pride and arrogance will split the opposition.

Gachagua also says he’ll relocate to America if Ruto wins. Nothing says “vote for us” like a getaway plan!

Moses Kuria says uniting them is like the goat, leopard and grass river puzzle. 🐐🐆🌿

02/11/2026

🚨 BREAKING: SAKAJA SWAPS UDA YELLOW FOR ODM ORANGE

Governor Sakaja has left UDA for ODM! 🍊 He announced it on Monday, November 2, at Chungwa House in Lavington, where Simba Arati and Gladys Wanga welcomed him like a long-lost cousin.

On Saturday he asked the Jacaranda crowd which party to join. They said ODM. Democracy at its finest!

Junet had already warned: no ODM card, no ODM backing.

Now the plot twist: no automatic ticket. He must still face other aspirants in the primaries, and reports say delegates had earlier backed Aladwa. 😬

Yes, he joined a party to compete inside it!

And he says he’ll keep backing Ruto. New colour, same boss.

02/11/2026

🚨 BREAKING: Rigathi Gachagua says if Ruto wins in 2027, “I won’t be here, I’ll be in America, I have a house there.” Wamunyoro has a Texas branch!

Meanwhile, Matiang’i says Gachagua’s “pride and arrogance” will split the opposition.

Kalonzo was booed by Sifuna’s supporters, and Ruto is reportedly sweet-talking him to cross over.

Opposition leaders insist they’re UNITED. Wananchi are told to stay and fight, while one leader has already checked the flight schedule. 😂

02/11/2026

During my time in the United States, I was treated like royalty - Rigathi Gachagua

02/11/2026

🚨 BREAKING... KALONZO TO HIS FOOT SOLDIERS: “WAKE UP, RUTO IS IN MY KITCHEN!”

Kalonzo has begged his Ukambani allies to “protect our base” after Ruto’s team walked into his backyard and started handing out “development” while his foot soldiers slept.

2 million votes are up for grabs and the opposition frontrunner can’t guard his own boma!

K**a huwezi kulinda Ukambani, utalinda Kenya? 🤔

01/11/2026

It is a 2002 moment, history is repeating itself... Rigathi Gachagua

01/11/2026

“Just move on! Sifuna is Kenya’s rising star.” - Tony Gachoka

01/11/2026

I can tell you that Kenyans have spoken...Karen Nyamu

01/11/2026

🚨 BREAKING: KALONZO BOOED AT SIFUNA’S LAUNCH, RUTO’S CAMP RUSHES TO “COMFORT” HIM 😂🔥

Kalonzo says Sifuna isn’t a candidate yet at the Linda Mwananchi HQ launch, and the crowd serves him a live “BOOOO” concert.

Within 24 hours, Kenya Kwanza became his new “concerned relatives” group .

Murkomen: “Come to us, Sifuna will bully you!”

Nyakundi: “40 years in politics, and a young man tells you to step down?”

Atwoli: “Who sent this child?” 😂

Kipkorir says Kalonzo should be “wooed, not booed” 🎶 Meanwhile, mwananchi is still waiting for the opposition to pick ONE candidate.

29/10/2026

🚨 BREAKING: SIFUNA AND COMPANY SET T LAUNCH LINDA MWANANCHI

Linda Mwananchi is to be finally launched after a name tussle, a tribunal, and a Registrar’s 90-day reservation.

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