10/28/2026
From UMA Counseling and Wellness:
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Behaviors within a relationship of any kind exist on a continuum of healthy to problematic to abusive. Today, we will look at one aspect of healthy relationships: boundaries.
Boundaries are parameters that define what behaviors are acceptable for a person. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, time-based, and material. They are also fluid, and can change based on your comfort level, time, and context. To learn more about the different types of boundaries visit: https://www.pesi.com/blogs/understanding-the-six-types-of-boundaries/
Knowing what our personal boundaries are is an important first step to recognizing what a healthy relationship looks like to us. The next step is being able to communicate our boundaries to others. Below are some tips to start setting boundaries in your relationships:
Show self-compassion by reminding yourself that your needs are important and deserve to be met.
Be as clear and straightforward in what you are asking for as possible.
Use open body language and make eye contact. Open and confident body language shows that you are direct but not rude and is likely to be met with a more positive response.
Do not raise your voice. It’s okay to be stern, direct, and firm in setting boundaries, but raising your voice or using an angry tone can lead to the other person becoming defensive and less likely to hear you out.
State your need or request in terms of what you’d like rather than what you don’t like. For example, “please ask me when you want to borrow something of mine” is going to be better received than “don’t take my things without asking me first.”
Start small. Practicing communicating boundaries is going to make you more confident and comfortable. Choose a low risk boundary to set with a trusted person in your life.
Finally, remember that you are responsible for your words, actions, and reactions — and you are not responsible for anyone else’s. Some people may not respond positively to you setting boundaries and/or will continue to violate your boundaries. Their reactions are not your responsibility. Lean on trusted supports for help in how to address when others don’t respect your boundaries. Seek out friends, family, and mental health professionals to help explore how you wish to proceed when someone does not respect your boundaries.
Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab shares six types of boundary setting so your clients can learn what violations can look like and how they can protect their peace.